This provides the operator with more creative control of the experience so that, for example, the music (and lighting) in different parts of the club could be related in the same way as different movements of a symphony.

The dance floors should be made up of travelators at different speeds, some of them barely moving at all. Sometimes, you would be overtaken on the inside by a cocktail bar.

At the end would be the option of a return journey on a poorly-lit underground monorail with subdued white noise piped in to soothe the incipient tinnitus, and small Irish coffees concealed in random nooks.

This is to be built near the sea, where a tidal barrage, instead of generating electricity, will be geared directly into the travelators.

Dress code: no jam or bees.