to accomplish the growth of these aesthetically pleasing nails, it will be necessary to wear these <points at product> specifically designed metallic finger stalls complete with an internal screw-like thread, quite possibly, in fact quite probably, all day and night in the initial stages. however with a little practice even typing and chopping carrots, while wearing these aids, becomes an easy task although maybe not at the same time.

screw the stalls onto each finger in such as a way that the edge of the finger nail slides along the thread. this thread acts as a guide for the natural nail to grow in a circular manner; both left-handed and right –handed screws are available.

as the nail grows, it twists and curls into a shape not dissimilar to an ice-cream cone. there is absolutely no need for clipping as the nail grows into itself as it gets longer and in doing so, becomes harder and sharper.

n.b. not recommended for toenails at this time.
-- po, Sep 28 2006

Some that got loose and went mad http://www.ericaluc...shows/sxsw05/18.jpg
I think I need a bigger gizmo. I like this a lot po + [xenzag, Sep 28 2006]

no, more like this - a straightened out croissant almost. http://home.swipnet...Unicorn/Unicorn.htm
[po, Sep 28 2006]

User reviews http://syracuse.cit...com/review/41548249
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Sep 29 2006]

unsatisfied customer. http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=11558
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Sep 29 2006]

pehaps BB was thinking of cream horns. http://www.armory.c...rene-CreamHorns.jpg
[po, Sep 29 2006]

I'm imagining that they are so solid and sealed that no dirt, jam etc will invade at all.
-- po, Sep 29 2006


You know, silicon implants into the nail beds would relieve you of the appliance. They'd distort the growth plate of the nails enough to torque the nails into shape.
-- reensure, Oct 01 2006


Wow! Just when you though the fashionista had desecrated their bodies in every imaginable way for style...

I like it, but that is mainly because I gain a sick sense of enjoyment from watching women strive for the impossible ideal of beauty.
-- ye_river_xiv, Oct 02 2006


perhaps we could find a recipe. I like a cream horn or two <grin>

I think yrx is missing the potential uses for these beauty aids.
-- po, Oct 03 2006


While I like the idea of being able to open 5 bottles of wine at the same time, I do find *really* long nails a bit icky. However, I am particularly partial to a nice cream horn, and a single nail so fashioned migh make a useful pastry skewer for use at my local bakery. Cream buns will no-longer sully my fingertips, the sugar from doughnuts will no-longer make my fingers sticky - and freedom from sticky fingers is a massive bonus. All I need to do now is decide which finger to convert into a cake-prong.[+]
-- zen_tom, Oct 03 2006


o.k. we need to decide the optimum length for the aesthetic factor. I was not really envisaging *long*
-- po, Oct 03 2006


I'm thinking about 10-15cm - just enough to comfortably impale a sausage.
-- zen_tom, Oct 03 2006


death to sausages it is then.
-- po, Oct 03 2006


<munching on sausage>

It would also let you carry up to 10 buns (more if you allowed for stacking) at the same time!

Arise sir Edward Doughnuthands!
-- zen_tom, Oct 03 2006


er..... i think i missed the point
-- Stork, Oct 03 2006


zen, don't anno with your mouth full. I've told you about that.
-- po, Oct 03 2006


Sorry brown owl
<goes back to typing and chopping carrots at the same time>
-- zen_tom, Oct 03 2006


As much as I dig in my ear I can imagine the size of the wax chunk that will be in my nails.
-- Jscotty, Oct 03 2006


what you have to imagine is that there will be no *in* the nail. its totally enclosed.
-- po, Oct 03 2006



random, halfbakery