Down in the bakery all the bakers were making toys
ponytail fasteners for the girls, nano-tech for the boys
when our goddess busted in, nearly scared us half to death
with a fake ray-gun in her hands and cheap custard on her breath
from her t-shirt to apron she was covered with croissants
and she typed in an evil pink, fluorescent screen font
and she :)ed as she said, with a crumb in her eye
half-Christmas to all, now your all gonna [m-f-die]...

The night jutta went crazy
the night our goddess went insane
realised she was getting a raw deal
something finally must have snapped in her brain...

Well, the bakery is gone now, she decided to [m-f-e] it
everywhere you’ll find pixels of Afro and lubbit
she tied up her helpers and she held Susen hostage
And she ground up poor thumbwax into Sausage 'N Syrup
she got Hippo and StarChaser with an old EggZooka!
and she slashed up dsm with his own universal axe
she picked up a flame thrower and baked PeterSealy
she took a big bite and said it tastes just like potatostew...

The night jutta went crazy
the night our queen went berserk
now you can't hardly walk around the Internet
without stepping in bits of clock work

There’s the pedant division and some EZ-LandMines
there’s a zig from zero wing
and El Pedanto circling round in the sky
and the paintballs are flying, the body count's rising
and everyone's dying to know, oh jutta, why?
my my my my my my
you must have had one too many custard pie

Yes, LewisGirl, now jutta's doing time
in a federal prison for her infamous crime
hey, UnaBubba, now don't you cry no more tears
the Guerilla Halfbakers will bust her out have no fears
but now phoenix is in therapy and egnors still nervous
and I got my elf a job working for the postal service
and they say Vernon, he's on the net every night
with his fans negotiating the posting rights

They're talking bout - the night jutta went crazy
the night our queen finally flipped
broke her back for some daft WIBNIs
Sounds to me like she was tired of getting gypped

Wo, the night jutta went crazy
the night our goddess went insane
realised she was getting a raw deal
something finally must have snapped in her brain...
Wo, something finally must have snapped in her brain
Tell ya, something finally must have snapped...
in her brain
-- RobertKidney, Sep 30 2001

universal axe http://www.halfbake...dea/Universal_20Axe
[RobertKidney, Sep 30 2001]

Tune?
-- Susen, Sep 30 2001


The tune is weird al yankovic - the night santa went crazy. Well done Bobert!
-- Zwe, Sep 30 2001


Don't know that one....who's Bobert?

RK--- I think you meant sdm not Dsm.

Why are you listening to Christmas songs at this time of year?
-- Susen, Sep 30 2001


I'm going to assume that I'm Bobert - If there IS some one out there called Bobert then I'm sorry for stealing his messages...

It is dsm - see link...

And I put it on now so that it would be ready to go on the halfbakery christmas album...
-- RobertKidney, Sep 30 2001


sorry, I was thinking of sdm and his "exploding body parts". Argghh...so we have a sdm and a dsm...a sparki and a sparky.....

next thing you know, PeteSeely, UniBubba, and RobertPancreas will be dropping by.
-- Susen, Sep 30 2001


wow! its amazing finally there is a 1/2B christmas song about the joys of the holidays! but there's one problem where's the thanx to the co-writer? eh eh? i mean with out the part about the fake ray-gun the whole song would fall apart! But apart from that minor detail, a song very well written Bobert! ps mwa ha mwa ha
-- evil_genius, Sep 30 2001


croissant

-the tune can be downloaded off some file-sharing networks like napster. search for "the night santa went crazy".
-- Fireraven, Sep 30 2001


::::: basking in aplause::::: Thanks all the same but I don't want to be an official song writer... this one took me ages... besides yours are at least as good as this UnnaBubba... (oh and for anyone who was wondering evil_genius is a friend of mine from the "real" world... he helped with some of the lyrics...the ray gun and the evil screen font mostly) anyone else should feel free to sugest any small alterations...
-- RobertKidney, Sep 30 2001


I don't believe it - this has as many votes as the guerrilla halfbakers' battle hymn... then again one of them is mine...
-- RobertKidney, Oct 02 2001


Now that I've said that someone seems to have changed their vote from + to -...
-- RobertKidney, Oct 03 2001


There I was - scrolling 'recent' submissions - to find this perfect little pearl.
-- thumbwax, Oct 12 2001


some people might say that about the HB itself...
-- RobertKidney, Oct 13 2001


I think GTR has supplied the 'Pat Answer' to his own ideas.
-- thumbwax, Feb 04 2002


indeed, monsieur wax, just the kind of considered, well thought out, intellectually challenging response that has made him the man he is today...
-- goff, Feb 04 2002


It's so good to see him giving a well thought out reason for his fishbone.
-- CoolerKing, Feb 04 2002


I thought I'd bring to this to the top again. So many new bakers, so much old brilliance to read
-- chocolateraindrops, Sep 27 2005


Wow. Somehow I've never come across this in my HB travels, and it gets my bun straight away as a devoted Weird Al fan. Shame some of the syllables don't quite fit, that would have achieved perfection. Instead it's just very, very good.
-- Mr Phase, Jun 18 2006



random, halfbakery