A hat contains a reservour of soapy froth. The rim contains lots of holes. As you go about your daily business, frothy soapy froth seeps from the holes and dribbles uniformly down your face.
A gutter around your collar collects the run-off and stores it in a convenient bladder which you can empty in a public convenience through the attached waist-level drain valve.-- pocmloc, Apr 04 2020 The opposite of this https://www.youtube...vMTlj8t1mA&index=25also musical [calum, Apr 06 2020] What happens when it gets in your eyes?-- xenzag, Apr 04 2020 You scream "ARGHHHHHHHHHH!"
"ARGGHHHHHHHH!"-- chronological, Apr 04 2020 Keep your eyes closed if you are that fussy! Or, wear swimming goggles?-- pocmloc, Apr 04 2020 Can we hear the screaming again ? We enjoyed that ...-- 8th of 7, Apr 04 2020 What [chronological] "SAID".-- blissmiss, Apr 04 2020 hmmm you could use Johnson & Johnson's No More Tears formula...Might even be able to get Ozzy Osbourne to do the theme song.-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Apr 04 2020 What [8th] said.-- 21 Quest, Apr 04 2020 What [21] said [8th] said [chronological] said.-- whatrock, Apr 05 2020 Not certain about the frothy soapy frothy froth, but I can find some other uses for the collection collar/bladder/drain valve doodad.-- tatterdemalion, Apr 05 2020 If only I didn't already have a convenient bladder which I can empty in a public convenience through a waist level drain valve.-- ConsulFlaminicus, Apr 06 2020 Also, struggling to see the link to soap opera classification.-- ConsulFlaminicus, Apr 06 2020 Maybe the screaming is intended to be dramatic, tuneful, and with a classical musical accompaniment ?-- 8th of 7, Apr 06 2020 I think that this is an excellent idea. A 21stC. plague doctor outfit. A pomo one, at that: Victorian water tower stovepipe hat and Elizabethan ruff gutter. Perfect.-- calum, Apr 06 2020 As long as the screaming is still included; the more prolonged and agonized, the better.-- 8th of 7, Apr 06 2020 Well there are only two //soap// categories on here, which seems a trifle stingy. It's not my fault if I chose the wrong one is it now?-- pocmloc, Apr 06 2020 Yes, it is your fault. It is all your fault. You are solely responsible; the guilt is entirely yours.
Now, confess your sins, and you may be forgiven by the deity of your choice. You will still be mercilessly punished, but your deity, if any, may forgive you. You'll just have to take your chance. That's the best offer you'll get, so you'd best take it while it's available.-- 8th of 7, Apr 06 2020 random, halfbakery