When your PC starts resspponnnnding reeeeaaaaalll sllllloooowwwly you stick this tiny device into the usb.
I know, I know - Security will kill this idea, but maybe if the hw and sw are all open source, the following could be useful.
It takes up to 5 minutes to install, because your PC is so unresponsive, BUT:
Once installed its tiny internal processor connects it to the web, using its own CPU and disk space (without using the PC's CPU or file system), so that response time is fast. It updates itself with latest antivirus and cleanup sw. It then opens a sorted view of the current processes, what they are and where they originated. Also a mapping of disk space usage, again explaining what each directory is, finding duplicates, offering to backup and looking at usage and modification dates.
It also looks for known data loggers and other malware or suspected malware.
In order to communicate with the PC it serves both as a default windows diskOnKey device AND as a standard keyboard device, So there is no "hardware needed to be installed" through your windows interface, and there is no software to be installed from your PC keyboard. When you press the START key on the device, it wakes up, turns itself on, looks at the PC disks, waits a second or two and sends a sequence of keystrokes to the PC effectively controlling your PC until the cleanup is done.
It has a small processor on it and a wifi connection. A tiny program is onboard to be installed
Next idea: room dry air chiller-- pashute, Jun 21 2012 BartPE http://www.nu2.nu/pebuilder/ [scad mientist, Jun 22 2012] But doesn't the computer's processor (which is busy) control USB traffic? And is this device using its own (3G?) web connection?-- hippo, Jun 21 2012 there is a much faster way to clean up your pc. 1. run command prompt 2. type "format C:" 3. reinstall windows, or if your pc was slow to start with, linux.
your idea would probably be good too though [+]-- erenjay, Jun 21 2012 There is a much faster way to clean up your pc.
1. Install Linux.-- 8th of 7, Jun 21 2012 Run Crap Cleaner. If that doesn't work, get a bigger HDD.-- UnaBubba, Jun 21 2012 would that be anything like running puppy linux on a usb memory stick?-- not_morrison_rm, Jun 22 2012 Running puppy (or any other little linux distro) alone still doesn't clean up the hardrive, so you dont actually get any benefit, apart from making windows seem even slower when you reboot back into it.-- erenjay, Jun 22 2012 I had to recover the laptop from a virus recently; I still have not been able to boot in safe mode as a result, though everything else, with the exception of my permissions to install Adobe Flash 11.something or other being mysteriously revoked by said machine, runs fine. But safe mode would be really nice to run again. It'll get so far and simply restart. Clues?-- RayfordSteele, Jun 22 2012 Clone a clean backup version of the VM on which you were running Windows, and then... wait - you mean you were running Windows directly on your hardware? Then what [8th] said.
{waddles off to rejoin the penguin claque}-- pertinax, Jun 22 2012 I have no reason to run Linux, as I find life more fascinating than computer science.-- RayfordSteele, Jun 22 2012 // Running puppy (or any other little linux distro) alone still doesn't clean up the hardrive, so you dont actually get any benefit, apart from making windows seem even slower when you reboot back into it
Who said anything about going back to windows? You still get direct access to all the stuff on the hard disk...there's an open source program for pretty much everything...-- not_morrison_rm, Jun 22 2012 // I find life more fascinating than computer science //
That's a terrible thing to admit in public. We admire your bravery. Our respect for you has actually increased.
You aren't alone, there are many people and organizations who will offer you help and support. Don't despair, things CAN be better. There is a way out of your suffering and misery. Come towards the light ...
And always remember, "Resistance is Futile".-- 8th of 7, Jun 22 2012 For a similar effect, you could use BartPE. That's a tool that lets you install a subset of windows on a CD/DVD (I assume it could work on a USB stick as well if you wanted). Boot from that, download and run the latest antivirus, etc.
Of course this takes a lot of work to set up because MS licensing rules make it so that every person who wants to do this has to spend many hours settting up their BartPE CD or USB stick. And you may have to work through some things to be sure you can run the new program you download.
Making that a standard tested procedure would be nice. I do think you'd want to reboot to the device rather than trying to plug it in while your computer is bogged down and hope it can do something. Of course by rebooting you may loose some data. When I get bogged down, try killing some tasks from the command line. To instantly shut down internet explorer for example, run "taskkill -f -im iexplore.exe". Also, explorer.exe (the task bar) is part of the problem. You can kill that from the command prompt "taskkill -f -im explorer.exe" then restart it. I've found in many cases, that's as good as rebooting.-- scad mientist, Jun 22 2012 Just de-Windowed me new laptop and it's now single-click operation puppy linux...-- not_morrison_rm, Jun 25 2012 So [8th] do you Borg run on Linux?-- dev45, Jun 28 2012 I thought they ran on cheap Port and Black Shag pipe tobacco?-- UnaBubba, Jun 28 2012 I was going to say something uncharitable about Borg and "shag" but decided against it...
Anyway, could be the recent burning of the Microsoft office in Greece a sign of a not great product with poor firewalling?-- not_morrison_rm, Jun 28 2012 //I have no reason to run Linux, as I find life more fascinating than computer science.//
With linux, you get more time at life rather than sit in front of an unresponsive computer and wonder what virus caused the latest mishap.-- neelandan, Jun 28 2012 random, halfbakery