We had the day for “prayer and remembrance” (never mind that some atheists might be offended by that...) it was nice...whatever. Now we need something to wake us all up. I suggest a “national day of humour and mockery”
parodies of “All your base” featuring Dubya and B.L., blind bumbling CIA agents without a clue, and who can forget the reporters having their journalistic orgasms at the chance to report the biggest story in at least 50 years? And then we can celebrate because the buildings were pretty ugly anyway!
I mean, if I don’t laugh soon, I’m going to be depressed forever.-- futurebird, Sep 20 2001 even the onion http://www.theonion.com [technobadger, Sep 20 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004] Weather forecast for Kabul, Afghanistan. http://www.west-poi...9/KabulForecast.jpg [StarChaser, Sep 20 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004] Bush Or Chimp, R.I.P. http://www.bushorchimp.com/Tedious reverence reigns, even here. He still looks like a chimp, but we're not supposed to say so. [1percent, Sep 20 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004] kind a funny... http://badlinks.brutal.com/allyour747.gifall your base thingy... [futurebird, Sep 20 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004] Dancing Dubya http://homepage.ntl...farrukh/fp/bush.swfThis one is actually great - turn on all the lights and music - watch Dubya boogie with dance moves you pick [thumbwax, Sep 20 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004] a funny thread... http://boards.strai...=87707&pagenumber=1 [futurebird, Sep 20 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004] Design for the new World Trade Center. http://members-http...net/biffsparky/WTC/'Incorporates a gesture and spirit familiar to all New Yorkers'. [StarChaser, Sep 20 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004] Hijackers Surprised To Find Selves In Hell http://www.theonion...kers_surprised.html'We Expected Eternal Paradise For This,' Say Suicide Bombers [StarChaser, Sep 20 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004] world trade game http://eentelf.tripod.comoh yes baby, watch those towers burn [eentelf, Oct 04 2004] Yeah, but it would be that hollow kind of laughter that does you good at all. Good to see you back [fb].
[reads UnaBubba's annotation below and changes mind. Thanks UB. That got a belly laugh.]-- st3f, Sep 20 2001, last modified Sep 21 2001 Make it April 1 like it is every year. That will give people plenty of time to venture back into the 'comfort zone' and not be too offended.-- sdm, Sep 20 2001 Thank you! I'm as wrecked by this tragedy as anyone else, but if I don't see real signs of smart American humor soon, I'm going to lose my own sense of hope. Grief will take us as far down as we'll let it, but it won't take us forward.
Futurebird is absolutely right. Someone has to be brave enough to make us laugh, right now. We probably won't be able to laugh at all of the things that amused us before, but the smart comic will know what we need.
Now is the time for all good clowns to come to the aid of the country. Step up!-- 1percent, Sep 21 2001 I was actually thinking about a bastard child of AYBABTU and the WTC disaster this morning. In the shower.-- mrkillboy, Sep 21 2001 <dark humour>Know why 500,000 died in Afghanistan from starvation and disease?They needed to build up a supply of virgins in Paradise.</dark humour>-- thumbwax, Sep 21 2001 Check out George - He's got the moves-- thumbwax, Sep 22 2001 Soon v'ell deal wit your deprression … but for now let's shtick to phobias.
You realize, of course, that - statistically speaking - your fear of flying is toataolly irrattional. You are safer in a plane than, for instance, in a tall building. fzzzz.-- reensure, Sep 22 2001 Blissmiss: Get the quote right... "When I take action," he said, "I’m not going to fire a $2 million missile at a $10 empty tent and hit a camel in the butt. It’s going to be decisive."-- StarChaser, Sep 22 2001 Newly popular in schools: "A terrorist blew up my homework."-- beauxeault, Sep 22 2001 Ad from the National Inquisitor:
So you're a WTC survivor? So what? We've got 15,000 people in line ahead of you. Yada yada yada. Do you really have what it takes to be on our cover? Fill out the evaluation questionnaire below:
_ I was in the WTC when the planes hit (1 point) _ I was above the 100th floor (5 points) _ I was the last person out before the tower fell (50 points) _ No, I was! (60 points) _ I made it out, then went back in for my friend (70 points) _ My friend was pregnant or has a pregnant spouse (add 25 points) _ I carried a wheelchair-bound victim on my back and a 400 lb. man under my arm (150 points) _ I carried out a child (200 points per child) _ I am gay/lesbian/transgender (1 point) _ I am a muslim or of Middle Eastern descent (25 points) _ My name is Osama (500 points) _ I am one of the hijackers (1000 points)-- beauxeault, Sep 22 2001 headlines from The Chaser: -Terrorism matches obesity as top killer of Americans -Centrepoint climbs two places in “tallest building in the world” rankings -Bin Laden agrees to come to New York if 'fair trial' can be guaranteed -New Pepsi Max advert went ‘way too far’ -US Defence Dept reassures Americans: "The President is not in control" -WORLD TRADE CENTER JANITOR DECLARES: "Best sickie ever" -AMERICA PLANS PAYBACK: New Adam Sandler movie to be sent to Middle East-- sdm, Sep 23 2001 "WORLD TRADE CENTER JANITOR DECLARES: "Best sickie ever""
Mrr? What means 'sickie'?
"AMERICA PLANS PAYBACK: New Adam Sandler movie to be sent to Middle East"
Best place for it. Can we send him too? I'll happily buy him a nice Old Navy T-shirt with a flag on it...-- StarChaser, Sep 23 2001 Sickie=paid day off work due to illness or misadventure. Oz slang, I suppose. It's like this: add an 'ee' sound to the end of a word, and you've got instant Aussie slang.-- sdm, Sep 23 2001 Great link to the Straight Dope message board, futurebird!
Here's just a couple of my favorite "headlines":
-POETIC, 975-PAGE MUSLIM EXTREMIST TRAINING MANUAL FOUND Warrant Issued For Author "Mohammed"
-BIN LADEN BLOWS SELF UP IN RASH DISPUTE OVER ISLAMIC DOCTRINE "I'm just not Muslim enough" claims Taliban strongman
-U.S. FORCES BOMB AFGHANISTAN INTO ULTRA-HYPER LASER BEAM AGE "Shit, we got it backwards," says Rumsfeld
-OLIVER STONE FORMULATES SINGLE-PLANE THEORY
-BILL CLINTON ALREADY PLANNING TO DODGE DRAFT
-WAR ON TERRORISM CHRISTENED "OPERATION INFINITE JUSTICE" Provisional name, "Operation Nuke the Fuckers" scrapped.
-NEW YORK, WASHINGTON ATTACKED; FRANCE SURRENDERS TO GERMANY
These just made my day.
Sorry, but I have a morbid sense of humor.-- mrkillboy, Sep 24 2001 On a slightly related note, recently a news station ran a report on Islamic extremist organisations in neighbouring regions, and mentioned a Phillipines based group going by the name of the M.I.L.F.
Sadly, couldn't take it seriously because of that scene from American Pie.-- mrkillboy, Sep 24 2001 What scene from American Pie? <I haven't seen it...>-- StarChaser, Sep 29 2001 This is the one where the big scene of the movie is where the kid dorks a pie, isn't it?
Some other idiot tried that iRL. 3rd degree burns. Somehow, I'm less than sympathetic...-- StarChaser, Sep 30 2001 this game was written on the 20th sep, i've seen the other. great minds think alike?-- eentelf, Apr 19 2003 Its no longer on thier website, you have to buy their book now, but The Onion had the BEST post-attack humor ever, "God Angrily Clarifies Don't Kill Rule" Whee! Just what was neede-- Lizz612, Apr 19 2003 random, halfbakery