Movies could be rated for how icky the spider scenes are (cobwebs in a haunted house to Arachnophobia), and reviewers could leave instructions for when to close your eyes and for how long. This could save severe phobics a few nightmares.
-- impudent strumpet, Oct 21 2003

Spider Early Warning System http://www.halfbake..._20Warning_20System
Closely related idea by [Saveloy] [krelnik, Oct 04 2004]

Moral Early Warning System http://www.capalert.com/capreports/
Funny site [Letsbuildafort, Oct 04 2004]

Don't just include arachnophobics but people of all phobias, for instance someone close to me is scared of sharks so you could put a list of specific items in a movie that are scary
-- JoeLounsbury, Oct 21 2003


If this idea encompasses all phobias; Big (+)! Arachnophobia has been covered here before.
-- silverstormer, Oct 21 2003


my phobia is about knees that just might bend the wrong way...I have a horror of coming across a scene in a movie in which..
-- po, Oct 21 2003


[bliss] and now it's getting pastried. Isn't this place fickle?
-- grip, Oct 21 2003


+ I would like to see a similar warning on the front of books and magazines:

Arachnophobe beware page 39 which features a large hairy black spider.

This would prevent the embarrasment I suffer when I read a magazine in a crowded place and end up yelping and jumping out of my seat when surprised by a picture of a tarantula.
-- hazel, Oct 22 2003


If you're that scared of something, just stay in bed with the covers over your face like normal people.
-- ato_de, Oct 22 2003


I just need to know if there will be any representations of men wearing socks with sandals so I can steer far clear.
-- snarfyguy, Oct 22 2003


Sanity.
-- RayfordSteele, Oct 22 2003


I don't want to be warned about spiders, rabbits with big sharp pointy teeth, eyeballs being sliced with razor blades, ducks, dwarves in red coats. I don't want to be warned about whether or not DJ Qualls is going to appear with his ugly face and ruin the film for me. Hell even the "Rated 12A - some scenes of strong violence may be unsuitable for ..." warnings give me an idea of what to expect. I don't want that. So if you're going to have these ratings, please please please make sure you keep them confined to a website or a newsletter or a whispering secret society - anything so long as I don't find out and have the surprises ruined for me.
-- calum, Oct 22 2003


I'm sure DJ Qualls could be sued for misrepresentation or something. He crops up in quite a few movies these days, but I've yet to see him play a single record.

Actually, I was doubly dissapointed - when I first saw his name, I mis-read it as "DJ Quills". I was expecting some guy with a feathery pen in each hand, eschewing the traditional needle-based record setup entirely. I imagined a modern Shakespeare, playing four decks at once, moving with the fluidity of a dancer and the precision of a robot-arm in order to pick out a particular section of a particular track on a particular record at a particular time with his twin reedy (but somehow amplified) quills.

And all I got was an ugly bloke who couldn't act.
-- lostdog, Oct 22 2003


I have an irrational fear that a halloween costume I wear will retrospectively cause* me to appear in the hallucinations of a schizophrenic boy who will end up killing me - will this help me as well?
--
*Technically an oxymoron.
-- Detly, Oct 22 2003


Several years ago, a friend and I were scouting the video store for scary movies. The one that caught our eye was called something like "When the Screaming Stops." The thing that made this video particularly interesting was the little red warning sign on the front corner of the box--"Screen flashes red in warning of intense scenes." Anyway, the movie itself sucked but this same flash of color could be used right before the spider scenes.
-- tchaikovsky, Oct 23 2003


There some great phobias and phobia names knocking about. Here, a few of my favourite:
My collection for mondays:
Cyberphobia- Fear of computers or working on a computer.
Ergophobia- Fear of work.
Phronemophobia- Fear of thinking.
Optophobia- Fear of opening one's eyes.

And for those who just have to be a bit different:
Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.
Genuphobia- Fear of knees. (one for you [po])
Pentheraphobia- Fear of mother-in-law. (Novercaphobia).
Hydrargyophobia- Fear of mercurial medicines.

And for the best names:
Bogyphobia- Fear of bogeys or the bogeyman
Phobophobia- Fear of phobias.
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words.

I'm not kidding. See [UB]'s link.
-- squeak, Oct 23 2003


There is a product named MovieMask that will digitally alter DVD playback to remove offensive words or images. Maybe you can get them to add a filter that will block your particular phobia.
-- GenYus, Jun 24 2004



random, halfbakery