"This is the captain speaking, I would like to welcome you to Continental Airlines flight number 6842 to Seattle. We are currently flying at an altitude of 20,000 feet, with a North-Westerly tail wind we should arrive at our destination at approximately 6.20pm this evening. We are expecting a little turbulence, so I would like you ask to fasten seatbelts when the fasten seatbelt light is on. Drinks and snacks will be served shortly, after the open coffin funeral service in row 42, seats A to D of the dearly departed Irene Tannenbaum. Please keep clear and follow flight crew's instructions when she is jettisoned from the emergency exit. Thankyou and enjoy your flight."-- benfrost, Oct 12 2004 Hey look up there is it a bird, is it a plane... no its grand ma!!!-- etherman, Oct 12 2004 [etherman] has hit it/been hit on the head with it. Reminds me of that scene in "Con Air" at the stoplights. I'm not sure whether this is good or not. The weirdness is a plus but it is totally unworkable for overland flights. And if you're not very careful the mourners get to see grandma go straight throught the engine in the world's oldest birdstrike. OK, you do get a croissant!-- DocBrown, Oct 12 2004 I can see it now:
FISHING TRAWLER SUNK BY DEAD LOLLIPOP LADY-- etherman, Oct 12 2004 I was sure this was about Christopher Reeve.-- FarmerJohn, Oct 12 2004 i though it was about having a weak heart and a strong sex drive.-- etherman, Oct 12 2004 my eThermal Resting Place is sadly gone.-- theircompetitor, Oct 12 2004 //Sharks get fatter, and begin hanging around under international flight paths.//
Yeah this isn't a funeral invention, its food aid air drop for sharks.-- etherman, Oct 12 2004 Poor man's cryostasis....at least until they hit the ground.-- Ling, Oct 12 2004 they could be ejected into orbit.-- etherman, Oct 12 2004 I think you'd want to install an airlock, rather than eject the dearly departing from the emergency exit. Even the additional business generated wouldn't cover the cost of all the nearby seating (and mourners) being sucked out through the emergency exit to join grandma's final descent.-- nick_n_uit, Oct 13 2004 If Irene died in Alaska, as implied by the idea, I can understand the difficulty of a normal burial in tundra. Why not just feed her to the Polar Bears?-- ConsulFlaminicus, Oct 13 2004 Daddy Bear: 'this titanium hip is too cold
Mommy Bear: 'this calostomy bag is too hot
Baby Bear: 'this arse cheek is just right.'-- etherman, Oct 13 2004 Ether, that's even more grim than the rest of the thread... If you want a mile high funeral, be considerate and go for a mile high cremation.-- david_scothern, Oct 13 2004 Of course, from a mile up the dearly departed would auger in pretty deep, n'est pa? (+)-- gardnertoo, Mar 31 2005 //mile high funeral// I would've thought that the slogan would be 'join the club'.-- froglet, Mar 31 2005 The club should be started, because i've noticed just recently there are a lot of people really dying to get in.-- benfrost, Mar 31 2005 random, halfbakery