Product: Weapon: Chemical
jellyfish riot control   (+3, -11)  [vote for, against]
better than tear gas

today water cannons are used to control rioting crowds.

but unless your'e really close to it , it only a discomfort, which is why it is used only with 'geeky' protesters like students etc.

I don't need to mention what is used on more violent protestors.

I say get a whole bunch of jellyfish , grind them up , mix with water, and shoot THAT on rioters.

---------- in response to the 'impractical' comments, please think again. really. I once found an article (can't now) on the net about nonlethal weapons, and some of them were much sillier (glue , foam, sound, "microwave pain ray" now featured on popsci , ) and have been implemented and tried. maybe this praticular idea is a bit silly, because I wrote it coming back from the beach, but iv'e seen rubber bullets kill. or,well,almost..

at least jellyf burns go away after a day or two.
-- supershnitzel, Jul 01 2005

european swallows winter in africa. http://www.rspb.org...allow/migration.asp
[po, Jul 01 2005]

Riot Control Bears Riot_20Control_20Bears
DocBrown's bears. [baconbrain, Jul 02 2005]

NEW IMPROVED VERSION WITH NO USEFULNESS Small_20Furry_20Animal_20Cannon
WHATSOEVER!! [supershnitzel, Jul 03 2005]

Sea Anemone http://www.bootkeyh...om/MarineStings.htm
Scroll down to the section on sea anemones [hippo, Jul 04 2005]

Is this the jellyfish that gives burns that are best relieved by dousing them with urine?
-- baconbrain, Jul 01 2005


I was hoping you were going to suggest spraying the crowd with live jellyfish. Severity of the incident would then dictate which species of jellyfish you used, Ctenophores to Chironex box jellyfish.
-- benindubai, Jul 01 2005


What [ben] said. The use of live jellyfish would get a pastry; this gets a dead fish.
-- angel, Jul 01 2005


I'm starting to get the feel that in Halfbakery you have to find the superfine line between PRACTICAL and AMUSING.

so if I suggested using birds instead of sea-dwellers, one would surely ask: an AFRICAN swallow or a EUROPEAN swallow?

I DON'T KNOW!! AAAAARGH!!
-- supershnitzel, Jul 01 2005


on second thought, remembering most of you are americans, just forget it..

:-|
-- supershnitzel, Jul 01 2005


Anyway, swallows are useless at riot control - they're only around for half the year.
-- AbsintheWithoutLeave, Jul 01 2005


//sorta like chemical warfare without chemicals// - If jellyfish toxins aren't chemicals, what exactly are they?
-- wagster, Jul 01 2005


Wouldn't the bears eat the jellyfish?

//superfine line between PRACTICAL and AMUSING.// Myself, I prefer ideas that find the overlap of practical AND amusing. Perhaps amusingly impractical is the goal. Or even ideas that would be funny if they could work. But there has to be some bit of practical in there to be halfbaked, and some amusement to get croissants. Or even bemusement.

BTW, swallows wouldn't work well. Use woodpeckers.
-- baconbrain, Jul 01 2005


Don't grind the jellyfish, live ones would work perfectly well, and contain an element of psychological horror to the crowd that realised they were being supressed by a jellyfish spiked watercannon during their peaceful civil rights protest.
-- zen_tom, Jul 01 2005


I thought someone had finally thought of a way to control those damn rioting jellyfish. Back to the drawing board... <slumps down in office chair overlooking streets filled with angry jellyfish and pickets, one says "I ain't gotta brain, dosen't mean I ain't feel the pain">
-- daseva, Jul 01 2005


Jellyfish don't pay rent or walk, or talk with some Eurotrash accent.
-- bristolz, Jul 01 2005


Well, some of us do; I just come from this part.
-- angel, Jul 01 2005


which is miles away from this bit.
-- po, Jul 01 2005


And I am now about as far as I can get from my own bit and manage to stay dry.
-- baconbrain, Jul 02 2005


My bit isn't worth two bits.

If the police rolled the jellyfished rioters in peanut butter would they stick to the roof of the paddy wagon? Or would baconbrain's bears eat them first?
-- Canuck, Jul 02 2005


They aren't my bears. See DocBrown's Riot Control Bears.

//paddy wagon// Now there you go, stereotyping the Irish.
-- baconbrain, Jul 02 2005


I too was hoping for whole jellyfish.
-- finrod, Jul 02 2005


Instead of jelly fish, how about a ticked off cat cannon.
-- 10clock, Jul 02 2005


Why not release a launch a bunch of "the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent(s)" such as the little rabbit from the Holy Grail? ("We had better not risk another frontal assault, that rabbit is dynamite" -ah classic).

-Or how about the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch?

Monty Python is international.
-- The Acrimonious Obfuscator, Jul 03 2005


". . . 'then, when you've cleared all the jelly-fish out of the way--'
'THAT generally takes some time,' interrupted the Gryphon."
-- baconbrain, Jul 03 2005


How often do your jellyfish riot? Float -ins... yes. Drift-bys... yes. Riots? Not so much.
-- ato_de, Jul 03 2005


unaBubba--

Schnitzel is an austrian dish. Shnitzel, on the other hand, is the most popular israeli dish, being exactly the same, except beef is replaced by chicken, which is cheaper.

if you travel around the world , you will find in restaurant menus 'shnitzel' on the israeli food section.

this is why austrians never go to india.
-- supershnitzel, Jul 03 2005


Austrians never go to India... because cows are revered, so if they were desperate for a schnitzel, they'd have to make do with a shnitzel, which would be in the Israeli section of the menu in Indian restaurants?
-- Stoo, Jul 03 2005


because it's too insulting to see a ripoff of something that's yours , with even the CREDITS being given to someone else.

come to think of it....

americans did it first! they ripped off the hamburger, and now everyone thinks it's american food!!
-- supershnitzel, Jul 03 2005


<low whistle> Your shift key must be emmaculate.
-- Texticle, Jul 03 2005


Or emasculated. Either way, it doesn't seem to work.

You need either to come up with a practical idea, or a funny idea. One that fulfils both criteria is good, too. Fulfilling neither tends to attract fishbones.

"Most of you are American." No, we're not. I'd put the proportion of UK bakers somewhere near 40%-50%.

Come on, you're blethering about spraying ground-up jellyfish at people. Practical? No. Funny? Not really. Fish.
-- david_scothern, Jul 04 2005


//Your shift key must be emmaculate// I think you may have a rare case of virgin spell-checker.
-- coprocephalous, Jul 04 2005


[baconbrain] You're thinking of sea anemones. If you step on one of these, get a friend to urinate on your foot.
-- hippo, Jul 04 2005


you taking the piss?
-- po, Jul 04 2005


//sea anemones. If you step on one of these, get a friend to urinate on your foot//

With friends like that, who needs anemones?
-- baconbrain, Jul 04 2005


Friends?
-- The Acrimonious Obfuscator, Jul 04 2005


If that's your way of asking me to urinate on your foot, I'm saying 'No'.
-- baconbrain, Jul 04 2005


Link added to lend support to my assertion that urine can be used to treat sea anemone stings. It's something to do with the acid in the urine disolving the calcium carbonate spines embedded in your foot. Urine's pretty sterile too which probably helps.
-- hippo, Jul 04 2005


//calcium carbonate spines// Sea anenomes are soft-bodied - I think you're referring to sea urchins.
-- AbsintheWithoutLeave, Jul 04 2005


How come there's no peanut butter fish?
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jul 05 2005


It's about survival... jelly is largely transparent, so predators don't see jellyfish. Peanut butter fish would be opaque, hence highly visible.
-- david_scothern, Jul 05 2005


Shame, a peanut butter fish and jelly fish sandwich would be delicious and nutritious.
-- wagster, Jul 05 2005


If the goal is to get the rioting crowd to pee on each other, why not then load up the water cannons with pee? That would work even at a distance.

Lord knows I'd go home.
-- elhigh, Jul 07 2005


Sorry to rain on your parade (or riot) but jellyfish are made of water. They decay very fast too. If you grind them up and mix them with water, you just end up with jellyfish scented water. The stingers would melt in no time.
-- lurgic2, Mar 16 2006


Simple, have a jellyfish reservior, and a water source. The pump will do a good job of pulverising the jellyfish just in time for maximum freshness.
-- Custardguts, Jan 05 2007


How about we just shoot the rioters?
-- Abusementpark, Jan 07 2007


instead of shooting the rioters, why don't we just walk up to them and give them a hug?
-- fett625, Feb 22 2007


But, they can still riot after the hug wears off. Let's laugh at them. Embarrasment lasts forever.
-- daseva, Feb 23 2007


COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!,
-- crash, Feb 23 2007


Yes,(strokes chin) Laughing at them just might work...
-- fett625, Feb 28 2007


Why not just sit there and stare at them? That would make me back away REEEEAAAALLL fast.
-- whizzentag, Apr 29 2008



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