A small pair of speakers mounted on the ends of a flexible circular piece of plastic. Just like a pair of headphones, except these fit under your wingtip collar.
A small microphone picks up your voice, and analyses it for stress. If a stress level is picked up that's greater than some (adjustable?) threshold, the speakers play one of a number of pre-recorded audio samples, carefully selected to add that *perfect* level of soap-opera drama.
From now on, the dramatic chipmunk ain't got nothing on you...-- bumhat, Oct 10 2007 the dramatic chipmunk http://www.youtube....watch?v=a1Y73sPHKxwthe dramatic chipmunk [bumhat, Oct 10 2007] Fatal Auto Collision Song Fatal_20Auto_20Collision_20Songsimilar technology, but funnier [hippo, Oct 12 2007] Brilliant. [+]-- Srimech, Oct 10 2007 This would have to be waterproof "ee ee ee ee ee" and "dur dum .... dur dum ... dum dum dum dum, dum dum dum dum, da da da, da da da."-- marklar, Oct 10 2007 I can just picture it, you're involved in a life threatening situation and you scream 'we're all gonna die !', when suddenly the lilting tones of Kenny G issue forth from your collar. Yeah, that'd work.-- Brett-Blob, Oct 12 2007 I was thinking along the lines of it blurting out "Baby, those jeans are lookin a little tight, maybe its time to put the cookies down." or something to start some drama.-- rascalraidex, Oct 12 2007 Produce one for dogs and I'll chuck you another virtual bun.-- skinflaps, Oct 12 2007 Could be used for sarcasm as well.-- vincevincevince, Oct 12 2007 it's actually a prairie dog, but whatever. +-- k_sra, Oct 12 2007 Personal background music - cool!-- DrCurry, Oct 12 2007 Perfect, if only there were a way for it to be triggered just by certain facial expressions. A manual version (which I would like just as much) could be baked by just wiring it under your clothes to an mp3 player in your pocket.-- bnip, Oct 12 2007 Not sure it would be bakeable. But I'd settle for a little hand-held gadget which, at the press of a button, would give a dramatic "Dun dun DUUURNNNN" introduction to some piece of essential information which I was about to convey. It could be called the "Dun dun DUUURNNNN" button, but I'm not sure of the spelling.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 13 2007 [bnip] A very fine cable between a potentiometer (built into your monocle) and your eyebrow would do the job nicely, I think.-- Srimech, Oct 13 2007 random, halfbakery