You don't want to drive and you don't want to wait for a bus because then you'd have to pay attention. Even walking to a taxi is too much effort. Remember when you used to pretend you were asleep so your parents would lift you from the car to your bed? In this most modern of all possible worlds, why should any adult have to forego that childish pleasure?
Although the name ends in ".com" to attract the interest of investors and young professionals, the actual service would most likely be activated by phone or with a wireless "panic button." Then you just relax.
With the premium service, you are wafted along on the hands of a half-dozen basketball players (of either sex) dressed in flowing gowns. A bargain version might involve being simply dragged by a large dock worker.
(thanks to T. Przydrozny and S. Havelka for showing me that this is necessary)-- hob, Jun 19 2001 this could be you [hob, Jan 23 2005] (???) WakeUpCall.com http://www.halfbake...ea/WakeUpCall_2ecomTo start your day. [phoenix, May 15 2002] (??) Home James (Los Angeles) http://www.homejames.com/Looking for franchisees. [jutta, May 06 2007] "We Are Young" by Fun https://www.youtube...watch?v=Sv6dMFF_ytsThis will be the music track to the service's first commercial. [jurist, Apr 24 2012, last modified Dec 13 2015] Not quite the same thing, but there is a service in London now where you phone them up, they arrive on a collapsible motorbike, which they then put in the boot of your own car, and drive you home! A bit like a sort of "Designated Drivers-R-Us"...-- goff, Jun 19 2001 What year are you living in where ".com" attracts the interest of investors?-- beauxeault, Jun 19 2001 I'm loving it. I assume dinner preparation and bed-time tuck-in service are available for a small fee?-- phoenix, Jun 19 2001 [beauxeault] I'm communicating via time-lag HTTP from the year 1996. Outside my window, the streets are filled with happy bike messengers from kozmo.com, delivering videotapes and packs of gum across town at the behest of high-tech lifestyle pioneers.
[phoenix] Tuck-in, yes, but dinner, no. If you need to use this service, you're unlikely to have the energy to eat dinner.-- hob, Jun 19 2001 Yes, there aren't enough illustrations on this site. I like the way the bargain-service client gets tossed into a chair like a bundle of newspapers but, being a frequent user of the service, doesn't even spill his coffee. Could there be a third-class service for customers who aren't willing to pay extra for the dolly?-- Monkfish, Jun 19 2001 Croissant for the piccies at the very least, but why basketball-players exactly?-- DrBob, Jun 19 2001 [DrBob] Just because they're tall and graceful.-- hob, Jun 19 2001 get a free ride in a white taxi with lights on top-- technobadger, Jun 19 2001 I'm so immature, can I get a 10-foot-tall Maya Angelou to carry me home? Oh, man. Great.-- Dog Ed, Jun 20 2001 Pictures excellent!-- benfrost, Jun 20 2001 Thanks to those who liked the pictures. I realize illustrations are usually not necessary but I'm trying to keep in practice.
Lest any of these fantasies get out of hand, I should remind you all that no hanky-panky is to take place with the carrymehome employees.-- hob, Jun 20 2001 If we are to the point of using this service, who would have the energy level for hanky-panky? (Kudos for the graphic enhancements) Croissant+-- Reverend D, Jun 20 2001 I grew up in a flat city where there were many owner-driver horse-and-dray carriers with their own stables at home.
It was commonplace to see a huge Shire horse placidly plodding homewards with the driver-owner blind-drunk snoring in the dray.
I write "flat city" because no experienced dray-horse would go down a hill without a sober driver behind to haul on the brake, my grandfather told me.
Update : "Drunk buses" operated by the police, are kept busy in many cities, I'm told. I suppose they impound left-behind cars.-- rayfo, Jun 21 2001 Beautiful, in both idea and imagery.-- PotatoStew, Jun 21 2001 I bid 25 croissants-- thumbwax, Jun 21 2001 i'm voting for this because we need something new in the top 10. i'd like to request supermodels to carry me. they're pretty tall.-- juan2003, Jun 26 2001 brilliant and also convenient for narcoleptics-- krispykremednut, Jul 06 2001 Sounds great, but you know some skinny weakling would eventually apply for a carrying job, get turned down, and sue. Hey, if that guy sued Hooters and won, the sky's the limit for unemployed morons!-- ginarfel, Aug 02 2001 there's gotta be a song in here somewhere, right UB?!? this is just too perfect... *applause*-- absterge, Aug 03 2001 Croissant
(cool illustrations btw)-- kaz, Dec 15 2001 I'd go broke paying for this service. Work, pay for the service -- over and over...
"Where would you like us to set you?" "Oh, in front of the computer so I can satisfy my addiction to halfbakery.com. Thanx."-- jimithing, Dec 16 2001 WOW!!!Art imitating life or visa versa. This alreqady exist ...kinda..well with the addition and ingestion of large amounts of alchohal there is a group of citizens whom scoop you up and carry you to a bed ....made of concrete with other people the blue clothed citizens have carried there also!!!!-- shradius, Jun 05 2002 <poking gentle fun> You know, shradius, 1% was offering english lessons over in i-need... </poking gentle fun>-- yamahito, Jun 05 2002 This is now quasi-baked in L.A. "Home, James" is a service that employs actors with fake British accents to ride scooters and pick up drunk customers.-- RayfordSteele, Nov 06 2004 //This is now quasi-baked in L.A. "Home, James" is a service that employs actors with fake British accents to ride scooters and pick up drunk customers.//
Now I want to move to L.A. even more!-- disbomber, Apr 19 2005 Outstanding and quality halfbaking.-- skinflaps, Sep 17 2006 The whole service usually takes place when someone did an overdose, or just fainted in a crowded place. And the destination is usually an ambulance. There are friends/companions/staff + taxi drivers for other scenarios.-- sweet, May 08 2007 Nice graphics. It truly is a shame that this site has so few illustrations. (+)-- Shadow Phoenix, Sep 29 2007 it'f funny, got a laugh out of it, but it's not practical or ecconomical to hire professional basketball players for this purpose.... they work for money you know.-- quantum_flux, Nov 03 2007 This is the first idea I've seen on HB with an inline illustration; they certainly are few and far between. Is there a list somewhere of all the others?-- simonj, Nov 04 2007 HILARIOUS!!! Wow i can't believe it took me more than 6 years to spot this post...-- quantass, Nov 04 2007 This is my #1 favorite illustration on the halfbakery.-- phundug, Nov 05 2007 Carry Me Home. Please.
I couldn't find a current idea that wasn't someone wanting to be right instead of wrong. The back-and-forth voices called me to leave
Now the real voice of Mother Earth is calling me again. More time on the ground, walking, hiking, just being, the good stuff that fills your soul with peace, etc, and less time fighting.
I bid you all farewell. I thought this would be hard but the opposite occurred. It hasn't been hard at all.-- blissmiss, Apr 04 2023 :( Look after yourself, [blissmiss]. Hiking is good.-- neutrinos_shadow, Apr 04 2023 random, halfbakery