so there is a computer chip in your ass that monitors when you need protein and vitamin C and injects it in appropriate amounts. if your metabolism increases, it gives you more calories. your stomach is hooked up to a bag so that everything you eat goes into your backpack. of course that would have to be like a garbage compressor. maybe we could donate the mush to soup kitchens or fertilizer plants.-- Journal, Feb 16 2009 Backpack nutrient idea Nutrient_20backpack_20UAFSBut with a different delivery mechanism. [neelandan, Feb 16 2009] So, I don't need to eat delicious food but instead I get a computer shoved up my ass and I have to wear a colostomy bag. This is great because....?-- wagster, Feb 16 2009 I had a computer chip in my ass once. Really. I was stuffing a circuit board, I had chips all over the place, there was one upside down on my chair, and I sat on it. Computer chips hurt. I didn't get any damn vitamin C, either.-- colorclocks, Feb 16 2009 Journal, you're 15 and American, aren't you?-- MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 16 2009 I'd be more inclined to go with a supplement-pack that you could dump dead cats. cockroaches, brussel-sprouts and other noxious "foodstuffs" into but still get nutrition from them... the biological version of "Mr.Fusion".-- FlyingToaster, Feb 16 2009 //the biological version of "Mr.Fusion"// Baked. Pig.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 16 2009 //Baked. Pig.// long or short ?-- FlyingToaster, Feb 16 2009 random, halfbakery