Voracious
Slow-moving
Relentlessly efficient

No, it will not be an open casket service!
-- UnaBubba, Mar 13 2021

What exactly do they undertake to do? Eat the recently dead to save the trouble of burying them? Recruit the recently dead to save the trouble of eating them? Attend the funeral and expedite the inheritance process after the "Kind Hearts and Coronets" paradigm?
-- pertinax, Mar 13 2021


They offer no undertaking whatsoever.

They are the undertakers. They eat the dead, relying on the last, vestigial sparks of life left in the bio-electrical network that is your nervous system to reanimate them for another day. I assume you still have the occasional twitch left in you?
-- UnaBubba, Mar 13 2021


Well I have now, but ask me again when I'm dead.
-- pertinax, Mar 13 2021


I've made a note to do just that.

I assume you will have an immobile number after your demise.
-- UnaBubba, Mar 13 2021


Upvote for the tag line X-D
-- squeak, Mar 19 2021


Upvote for the tag line X-D
-- squeak, Mar 19 2021


Now this is just the sort of efficiency in gravesites that we need after last year.

Do zombies get tired of their Hollywood trope lines, though? Is there, somewhere out there there's a zombie that yearns for some good, solid Shakespeare?

"Cudgel his brains no more about it, for your dull ass will not mend his pace with beating;"

"Alas, poor Yorick! I ate him well. A fellow with a definite chest, a meal most fancy. He hath bludgeoned me a whack a thousand times..."
-- RayfordSteele, Mar 19 2021


I've heard they do a 10min, while you wait, cremation which costs just £10 (excluding taxes/urn).
-- Dub, Mar 20 2021


"Om Nom Zom"

Made me laugh. I missed this going around. It's nice to see a cheery, uplifting idea around this cavern of darkness and death. The mood has etched up about 1/2 point on a scale from one to ten. That's a lot, bubba. Thank you, from someone who has a tough time reading ideas anymore, without it bringing memories and some sadness.
-- blissmiss, Mar 23 2021



random, halfbakery