To start kill 21 garden gnomes. Grind them and put them in a white pot. Add 21 seeds of pois congo and a bit of string with 21 knots.

Leave white pot in a dark room. The knots will become spiders that are to be the znomes. Treat the spiders carefully, feeding them with just enough food and water but no salt.

When you are in need of their sevices you must perform another magic (hold your mfd, it's tried and tested after all).

Knock three times on the door and open it behind your back to give the spiders time to assume the shape of znomes.

Speak harshly when you give them orders and beat them to put the fear in them. Or they will harm you.

Don't forget to hand out straws as you send them on their way.
-- zeno, Dec 29 2008

P.3 "After all" http://www.google.c...mbie+survival+guide
How did you survive without one of these [WcW]? [zeno, Dec 30 2008]

P.6 straw http://en.wikipedia...wiki/Drinking_straw
For sucking the brains of still living gnomes, duh. [zeno, Dec 30 2008]

entirely unrelated http://www.miguelromero.com/
[zeno, Dec 30 2008]

surpisingly related http://imgur.com/gallery/8Z3DuOz
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Dec 30 2008, last modified Nov 04 2015]

Someone thought this was a good idea. http://www.thegreen...ie-garden-gnome.php
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Oct 23 2013]

Could someone suggest a category please? I often have difficulty finding the right one. One of these days I'm going to make an idea about that.
-- zeno, Dec 29 2008


"This is your brain on drugs" category ?
-- FlyingToaster, Dec 29 2008


Wow... just... yeah? I would go perhaps other:metaphysics or home: garden:ornament
-- MadnessInMyMethod, Dec 29 2008


How did I miss that category? Thanks!
-- zeno, Dec 29 2008


sp. zombie
-- daseva, Dec 30 2008


Perhaps, [zeno], you should put in some links for the benefit of people who don't know the difference between the original voodoo zombies (like these) and the very different Romero-type zombies.
-- pertinax, Dec 30 2008


why are yard gnomes used for re-animating rope? What form does the final reanimated creature take? I am also baffled by P. 6, straws? what sort? Do you have a link for the reference in P.3? "After all" is a pretty bold statement.

Please Spread Light Here.
-- WcW, Dec 30 2008


Just say gno to drugs.

[link]
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Dec 30 2008


Last time i animated a gnome (admitedly a closet gnome but a similar species) the process didn't involve rope (other than to secure the beast) or grinding it up. For best results store in a cool dry place after re-animation.
-- WcW, Dec 30 2008


Is meddling with the zenome going to cause mutations ?
-- WcW, Dec 31 2008


Don't bother with the category view, [zeno] - just use search to find the closest idea to yours and then hit "add" while on that idea and you'll automatically be posting in the same category.

Of course, if you're already doing that then I can't help you.
-- wagster, Jan 05 2009



random, halfbakery