A cupboard, more or less human sized, the interior of which is covered with xylophone (or other percussive instrument) keys, into which the musician, clad in a spangly leotard which is itself covered at key points in felt-covered or unwrapped (depending) hemispheres of mallet, will step before commencing his or her own jerking or languid (depending) ballet, which should, if performed correctly, be visually arresting and sound like curiously melodious windchimes or some daft bugger throwing cutlery at a bin lid (depending).
-- calum, Jan 15 2009

Part of an orchestra, featuring other closet musicians crammed into an array of diverse containers? +
-- xenzag, Jan 15 2009


I've an image of an orchestra of epileptic enspangled artistes being lowered from the vaulted ceiling en-mass into their xylophonic cupboards - I'm not sure I'm comfortable with it.
-- zen_tom, Jan 15 2009


where does the audience sit?
-- po, Jan 15 2009


maybe they don't.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 15 2009


I can not vote for this idea as it completely alienates xyloclaustrophobes...
...crap, I already did.

um,

So, how 'bout this weather eh?
<grabs coat>
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jan 16 2009


It's a xylophone iron maiden then.

Bun because I like it, but how would it be "visually arresting" if he's inside a cupboard?
-- theleopard, Jan 16 2009


hmm has anybody done "mechanical electricity generation from epileptics" yet ?
-- FlyingToaster, Jan 16 2009


//mechanical electricity generation from epiliptics//
No, but there is the lame joke about a bath and laundry.

//xylophone iron maiden//
Possibly the greatest cover of Run to the Hills *ever*..?
-- Jinbish, Jan 16 2009


[+] for "Microballet" - we need more microballets.
-- hippo, Jan 16 2009


I am, I am proud to say, inarguably the Grande Dame of the Microballet, being the originatior and, as yet, sole practitioner of this noble example of the moving arts. I have, for some time now, performed microballets all over an area of Scotland the size of my house, to the delight and amusement of an audience the size of my wife. Of course, the aesthetes of the halfbakery will doubtless appreciate that to describe using mere lumpen words the majesty of the microballet would give results as true and arresting as a slow child's potato print painting of a Tyrolean summer. But any interested parties are more than welcome to come to my gaff and watch me jiggle about like a div.

As far as the visibility of the ballerina or ballesteros (depending) is concerned, I would respond as follows:
(a) I had imagined that the front of the cuboard would not be either xylophonic or, indeed, there, and the musical parts of the percussive sarcophagus would be the other, non-fourth-wall internal surfaces; or
(b) the xylophoney bits could be spaced out so that the dancer is not entirely visible, but can be discerned by the audience as an agglommeration of fractional physical and audible cues; or
(c) balls.

Depending.
-- calum, Jan 16 2009


+ ...some cupboards have glass doors to see within, so therefore can be *visually arresting* or then again we can find an officer to arrest the the performers who look/sound very bad!
-- xandram, Jan 16 2009


Incorporate electric shock into a tutu and there could be an extremely sadistic, yet hilarious, form of torture.

"To do you expect me to talk, Twinkletoe?"
"No Mr. Bond, I expect you to dance!"
-- Jinbish, Jan 16 2009



random, halfbakery