Apart from the depressing content, the main reason I don't watch the TV news is the anchorpeople. Most of these sleek, suave nonentities have all the personality of a sack of sawdust and many annoying features. Those little insincere smirks that follow the gory details of the latest earthquake or suicide bombing really set my teeth on edge.

Therefore I propose dressing the offending newspeople in character costumes. This would cover those smirks and force them to be more original in their oration. I envisage news readers dressed up as Wombles (see links) but any not too famous characters would suffice. Just imagine the possibilities...

..."This is George Jetson reporting for CNN"...

Having said this - any station dressing their anchors as Barney or the Teletubbies should be firebombed.
-- madradish, Jul 17 2002

Official Wombles site http://www.wombles.tv/
For those who are unfamiliar with Wombles [madradish, Jul 17 2002, last modified Oct 17 2004]

Puppet News http://www.halfbake.../idea/Puppet_20News
Similar idea that I didn't spy 'till after :) [madradish, Jul 17 2002, last modified Oct 17 2004]

Womble Lovers http://womble.desig...m/womble_intro.html
Description of Wombles [madradish, Jul 17 2002, last modified Oct 17 2004]

I'd like to see Darth Vader reading the news .... can you imagine him on Newsnight ? Hee hee hee

madradish: I am totally disgusted by your soft pinko liberal nancy-boy slap-them-on-the-wrist-and-let-them-go attitude to the stations using Teletubbies as announcers. Hanging, drawing and quartering, followed by burning at the stake (for a first offence) is the minimum to preserve public decency.
-- 8th of 7, Jul 17 2002


I wish to announce my disapproval of this anti-Teletubby ranting.
-- po, Jul 17 2002


Now I know why a dear friend always says "_____ wombles into the room" when entering a room.
-- thumbwax, Jul 17 2002


L!VE TV had the News Bunny to react to their news broadcasts.
-- Aristotle, Jul 17 2002


Pah. I thought this would involve encasing wombles in concrete and throwing them out of ships.
-- pottedstu, Jul 17 2002


<aside>The Rick Wakeman pastiche on the Wombles fourth album is priceless.</aside>
-- angel, Jul 17 2002


pottedstu: I must admit that your "littering the seabed with concrete-encased Wombles" idea has a certain delicious irony about it.

po: The Teletubbies are nothing more that the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in disguise ..... and that bunke they live in is very sinister. I think we should put a large British flag on the top and just wait for the USAF to hit it by mistake.
-- 8th of 7, Jul 17 2002


I am more of an apologetic car-driver than one of those Revelations guys, bugsy
-- po, Jul 17 2002


I don't think Jeremy Bowen (current BBC Breakfast News anchor) could be described as sleek or suave. Indeed, I have just heard him described as "a maggot in the rotting sheep carcass of humanity."
-- calum, Jul 17 2002


You been listening into my conversations calum?
-- namaste, Jul 17 2002


Instead of dressing the said newsreaders in costume, you could ply them copious amounts of booze.

"Hellllllllo. Thith ith the newth....(hic).Today, some guy (hic). Wh? (hic) What are you lookin at?...."
-- Jinbish, Jul 17 2002


ah, remembers Reggie Bosanquet fondly....
-- po, Jul 17 2002


"...and for today's sports news, over to Tiny Clanger"
-- hippo, Jul 17 2002


Can't we generalize this to Anchor Personae (or Persona Anchors)? The news read by the persona of your choice (I think I'd go for Elmo reading the financial news and Elvis doing the weather).
-- DrCurry, Jul 17 2002


I'd listen to the news...if it was Mr T. reading it.
-- Jinbish, Jul 17 2002


And now time for the weather.. wait, sucka aint got no time for jibba jabba. It gunna be hot.

Jinbish: search Google for some clips of Bill Bonds (Ex Detroit Channel 7 anchor) drunk off his ass and on the job!
-- Mr Burns, Jul 17 2002


8th... and you were comparing UnaBubba to Dubya?

potted - nah, use the boring out of work news readers for that instead.

Jinbish - combine the two, inebriated costumed newsreaders could be interesting. You know something's wrong when the pink panther starts drooling.

DrCurry - I could, but then it would lose the (intentional) connotations pointed out by pottedstu
-- madradish, Jul 18 2002


itv news at ten. with bagpuss.
-- aubergine, Sep 04 2002


As if by magic it's time for the weather with Mr Ben
-- skinflaps, Sep 04 2002


You could have womble web services workshops
-- skinflaps, Sep 04 2002



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