You know how you get those collars for dogs that squirt lemon in their nose every time they bark (to stop them barking) well.. this would be a hat that squirts warm coffee in your mouth every time you yawn. Battery powered with little electronic sensors to detect the yawn sound & your open mouth, and a refillable flask to put the coffee in around the back somewhere. And, I don't know, maybe it could have rubber flippers to slap you in the face with as well. Slap!
-- Jim, Sep 14 2001

Jim -- ever tried methedrine?
-- rmutt, Sep 14 2001


Well, it's only available legally on prescription here in the UK, and even then only when you ask very very nicely. So naughty you for suggesting it. Slap!

Also, I'm thinking you could have coin-operated versions of these hats which you hire overnight. The noise they'd make when you inserted a coin would be "SsChing, Mneep!"
-- Jim, Sep 15 2001


croissant to go with the coffee
-- po, Sep 15 2001


Gets my vote... mostley for the name...
-- RobertKidney, Sep 15 2001


[Ron] I'm thinking of going in to politics.
[po] nah, it'd never fit through the tubes.
[Robert] It was very nearly "The Java Balaclava"
-- Jim, Sep 15 2001


I'd slap you in the face for a minimal charge.
-- Helium, Sep 16 2001


Helium: you could work for rent-a-bitch in the slapping department.
-- Miss Weston Smith, Sep 16 2001


Have a croissant, Jim (how about a Hands-Free Headset to eat it with?).
-- Guy Fox, Sep 17 2001


Fortunately, I don't have that much trouble recomposing myself after choking of warm coffee. However, do you have any accessories to keep me from coughing it on my keyboard?
-- nick_n_uit, Sep 17 2001


There'd be an optional clear plastic scoop that fits around the chin & mouth area to prevent spillage - useful if you are prone to sneezing or drooling, too.
-- Jim, Sep 17 2001, last modified Nov 04 2001


I don't know about any one else, but when liquids are squirted into my mouth when I yawn, I strangly begin to emit odd gurgly noises and rendered unable to breath for a large some of seconds. Perhaps is the liquid where released on the head,and a strong voice said "wake up!" or the like.
-- tinamn, Jun 19 2002


[tinamn] is that poetry? it's lovely.
-- Jim, Jun 26 2002



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