For the modern man of means who would rather have an expensive boy toy than a manservant to knot his necktie, this battery-powered tool is guaranteed to produce symmetric Four-in-hand or Windsor knots in five seconds flat.

The secret to the virtual valet is a series of one-use, pre-knotted, soft tubes. Each pair of slippery, tapered tubes comes tied in an inverse knot. Just hang your tie around your neck, clip the tube ends to the tie ends and connect the tubes’ other ends to the hand-held blower. By activating the blower, the tubes are inflated and slide out of their inverted knot like snakes after sex, pulling the tie ends after them, into a knot.

Four different, popular necktie and two bowtie knots can be ordered. Also available are add-ons for cuff buttons, cuff links and shoestrings.
-- FarmerJohn, Oct 13 2002

Make it Sew http://www.starfleetsupply.com/joke5.html
There are things you'd rather not know ... [8th of 7, Oct 14 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Automatic Edgy. http://www.halfbake...omatic_20_22Edgy_22
<Gratuitous self-plug> I need one of these before doing anymore Halfbaking. [Jinbish, Oct 14 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Oh, sure, it's all fun and games until you discover your wife hired someone to reprogram it to make a noose...
-- phoenix, Oct 13 2002


Asimov already provided for that, [phoenix].
-- bristolz, Oct 13 2002


does it do a Windsor or a St Trinian knot?
-- po, Oct 13 2002


It does the St Trinian, not.
-- FarmerJohn, Oct 14 2002


Asimov's laws for virtual valets?

1) A robot may not allow a human being to wear plaid and strips, or, through inaction, allow a human being to wear plaid and stripes. Oh, and no nooses.
2) A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3) A robot must protect its own sense of style so long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.
-- phoenix, Oct 14 2002


That one caused me actual physical discomfort.
-- waugsqueke, Oct 14 2002


"Open the wardrobe doors, Hal".

"I'm sorry, Dave. I can't do that right now."
-- 8th of 7, Oct 14 2002


[8o7]... I'm obviously not the luckiest man in the HB. First was the quake porn idea that was blocked. And now, just as I look at your link, my boss walks in.

If only I had an "Automatic Edgy".
-- Jinbish, Oct 14 2002


I expected something about parking..
-- Mr Burns, Oct 14 2002



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