MikeD Enterprises is pleased to announce our new line of grocery: Victory Meats! Each cut of meat has been hewn from a beast that has been pitted against a like beast, in a life or death struggle, and proved victorious in one of our sanitary gladiator-esque arenas.
Have some battle-hardened bacon with your breakfast, toss out the steak rub because this cow has already been seasoned in combat.
For an extra fee, you can download the video feed from our website and watch the benefactor of your meal dispatch his enemy whilst enjoying the sweet taste of victor.
You are what you eat, so start being a winner!-- MikeD, Nov 29 2010 (?) stress factor http://www.grandin....le/cattle.meat.html [xandram, Nov 29 2010] The Taste Of Fear http://www.myconfin...ch-eat-my-fear-jpg/Graphic [Boomershine, Dec 12 2010] What happens to the meat from the losing animals?-- hippo, Nov 29 2010 It gets sold as Defeat Meat.-- Wrongfellow, Nov 29 2010 Do you know that meat with adrenaline gets very tough? The most tender meat is from animals who didn't release any adrenaline and were butchered very kindly. [see link]-- xandram, Nov 29 2010 //What happens to the meat from the losing animals?//
We give it to [21Quest].-- MikeD, Nov 29 2010 Every animal alive today is the descendant of an unbroken chain of victors going back, without fail, to the beginnings of life. And you are going to put an end to that just so you can have some supper?-- baconbrain, Nov 29 2010 Armed with the power of not taking things seriously, I give this idea a bun. Why? Because, no matter how politically incorrect it is, it made me chuckle.-- DrWorm, Nov 30 2010 Most of the animals that you eat are sedentary in nature. How are you going to get them to fight each other? [<------ Note: Loaded question].-- DrBob, Nov 30 2010 // The most tender meat is from animals who didn't release any adrenaline and were butchered very kindly.//
Or most unexpectedly. When I buy beef, I want to see a look of "What the fu" on the cow's face.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 30 2010 //How are you going to get them to fight each other?//
Raise one as a Shi-ite, and the other as Sunni.-- MikeD, Nov 30 2010 Much better than pretending it grew overnight in a plastic tray [+]
but I would like to see human matadors rather than beast-on-beast contests.-- pocmloc, Nov 30 2010 I'm not sure animals do incentives.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 30 2010 How about the victor gets one last boink, then, just as post-coital bliss is at its height, a bullet through the head?-- baconbrain, Dec 01 2010 How about the customer has to chase, catch, and despatch the victorious beast before they can sink their teeth into its flanks?-- pocmloc, Dec 01 2010 //Or most unexpectedly// Ninja butchery. Like cow tipping, but permanent.
Edit: Haha, I can't believe that idea is here already: Samurai Slaughterhouse-- marklar, Dec 01 2010 //How about the victor gets one last boink, then, just as post-coital bliss is at its height, a bullet through the head?//
If given the choice, I'd opt for that exit.
[pocmloc], I have to fight the urge to jump the fence and start eating cows everytime I see them in a pasture.-- MikeD, Dec 01 2010 Aha, the old vinegar steaks.-- calum, Dec 01 2010 Holy shit, bungston, I just deleted your anno. I meant to annotate and clicked the wrong thing. Most humble apologies. Is there anyway we can get it back?-- MikeD, Dec 01 2010 /weeps salty tears/-- bungston, Dec 02 2010 // a bullet through the head? //
Or in [21Q]'s case, a bullet through the gonads (if any).-- 8th of 7, Dec 02 2010 There would be quite a lot of adrenaline generated during coitus, would there not? So I've heard.-- BunsenHoneydew, Dec 04 2010 //weeps salty tears//
It was not your fault, but mine. And it was your anno on the line. I really fucked it up this time, didn't I, my dear?-- MikeD, Dec 07 2010 MikeD Mumford?-- normzone, Dec 07 2010 "Every animal alive today is the descendant of an unbroken chain of victors going back, without fail,,,," and yet some of us are the products of a link in the chain that managed to procreate before succumbing to defeat.-- dentworth, Dec 12 2010 //some of us// All of us. I don't think any of our ancestors was immortal.
(Well, maybe some of the single-celled organisms. With binary fission, it's hard to tell parent from child.)-- mouseposture, Dec 12 2010 random, halfbakery