You walk in, bare foot wearing a towel, over the luscious green grass floor, and lean against the cushioned, slightly obtuse-angled wall. There is a hole for your face, in which there is an illuminated scene of rolling hills, trees, a lake and distant mountains.

As you relax, listening to the sounds of North American birdsong, and feeling a slight breeze whisk around your ankles as though you were out in the wild summer's countryside, you become aware of a shuffling behind you. You've been instructed to remain staring straight ahead, so you do.

For the next hour, what feels like a deer's velveted antlers kneed your back, its several tips massaging your muscles simultaneously with a sensation of both pressure and softness that works away your knots and leaves you feeling absolutely refreshed, relaxed, restored. When the treatment is over, you wait just a moment. You're waiting for the sound they told you to listen out for. There it is: a bleat.

You push yourself out of the cushioned wall and look behind you. There, standing behind you, is a beautiful lone deer with velvet antlers. You are welcome to feed it some of the grass and pet its head.

Thanks for visiting. Please come again.
-- theleopard, Jan 24 2013

One of our massage technicians... http://images.huffi...lerssmall-thumb.jpg
... who we recently fired. [theleopard, Jan 24 2013]

The competitor spa across the street... Slugged_20in_20the_20Face_20Spa
I'm not certain which one to go to... [normzone, Jan 24 2013]

Whenever I start reading something like this, I get a paragraph or two into it and then have to scroll back up to look at the category in an attempt to figure out how the hell I got here.
-- normzone, Jan 24 2013


does that help
-- FlyingToaster, Jan 24 2013


This is one unloved category.
-- theleopard, Jan 25 2013


This is one very strange idea. Why do all the ideas recently seem strange to me??? Is it me, or is this just a strange little cycle in the history of the bakery, me wonders.
-- blissmiss, Jan 25 2013


Nope, my ideas are always like this.
-- theleopard, Jan 25 2013


What the hell is wrong with you boners?! How can anybody possibly not bun this idea?
-- Alterother, Jan 25 2013


Not all of us have your unfettered access to deer.
-- normzone, Jan 25 2013


Thanks [Alterother]!
-- theleopard, Jan 28 2013


I suppose you could hold the helmet, but the best masseurs learn to use their heads, delivering a more authentic deer-massage.
-- theleopard, Jan 28 2013



random, halfbakery