"Simpry succurent," repeated the oriental host as he wove through the dimly lit alleys of the Burmese Quarter of Doggirldont. The western businessman followed him closely and thought how much he hated hearing the S-word, but he looked forward with some trepidation to the exotic restaurant that served "only mandalins and speciar foleign devirs". His chain of fight-or-flight convenience stores, 9-Eleven, was doing well, and his main supplier of natural herb anthrax remedy had promised an evening out, out of the ordinary.
In two minutes they had arrived and folded their legs under the low table in their cubicle-like booth. In front of them was the first course, a large tank of piranhas that swam expectantly in circles. A burly cook came with what looked like a leg of lamb that he plunged into the tank. He grappled with the bone above the surface as the voracious fish attacked and ripped at the flesh, making the water roil. The chef then deftly lifted the bone with four or five piranhas still hanging on and submerged it in a vat of hot oil that also bubbled and spit from the wet fish. The businessman's mouth watered as the golden brown creatures were served, but as he started to pick at the meat well away from the needle-sharp teeth, his host stopped him with a wave. With chopsticks and a knife, he showed how to open the belly to partake of its contents, discarding the rest. Doing likewise, the westerner was surprised to discover the luscious taste of the meatloaf-like patties.
The main course was obviously inside a baby shark, crowded in a glass tank that was rolled before them. Several large metal coils were immersed in the tank, and the lights dimmed and flickered as the water started boiling within seconds. In five minutes the chef was back, hoisted out the shark with a large hook and gutted it, letting two steaming barracudas flop out. These in turn were opened revealing mutilated, white-eyed minnows. The stench and flaccid consistency reminded the businessman of the rotted herring served from bulging tins in Stockholm, but the tiny fish had an exquisite flavor.
On the dessert trolly was the most expensive treat, a bouquet of meat-eating flowers, but there was also an owl and a large snake with a swelling in its middle double its girth. Upon seeing the sleeping pit bull puppy with distended tummy, the businessman motioned to his supplier that he'd had enough. On the dark street, he kept close to his host who had recounted a rumor of a diner who had been snatched leaving that very restaurant. The unfortunate bloke, found near the docks, had not died quickly. The only injury was a gash in the abdomen; the stomach had been opened and emptied.-- FarmerJohn, May 29 2002 Mmm, caribou stomach contents! http://www.nahanni....spring/caribou.html"[E]ven the fermented stomach contents are consumed. Considered a delicacy, the contents are rich in plant nutrients required to stay healthy in an environment where plant life is not always available." [pottedstu, May 29 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004] Kopi Luwak http://www.ravensbr...iles/kopiluwak.htmlNot ground up, just passed through. [phoenix, May 29 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004] The Palm Civet http://www.fonz.org...er/zg1996/luwak.htmThe animal responsible for Kopi Luwak [phoenix, May 29 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004] A case for predigested food... http://www.westonap..._greats/howell.html...sorry, but I'm not sold. [phoenix, May 29 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004] Interesting. Any idea whether the food would be at all palatable or edible? Birds feed their young regurgitated food, but it's not common elsewhere among animals. Maybe it should be eagles eating your barracuda.-- pottedstu, May 29 2002 Adult coyotes regurgitate solid food to their pups and for us maybe it's an acquired taste.-- FarmerJohn, May 29 2002 I've heard of force feeding a dog grains before cooking it whole. Unsure of the people who practice it. (Korea?)-- neelandan, May 29 2002 The traditional inhabitants of far northern Europe and America who feed on caribou or reindeer eat the stomach contents of the dead animal. The partially digested lichen, moss, etc, is rich in vitamins A and B, and is useful for their diet, which otherwise has little in the way of plant matter. Yay Google!-- pottedstu, May 29 2002 There's a coffee from Madagascar which is crushed in the intestinal tract of any one of the several kinds of Lemurs they have there. They all taste different, and are about $250.00 AUD per 100gm.-- thelumberjack, May 29 2002 *ERK* *ERK* *ERK*-- phoenix, May 29 2002 Don't the Belgians do this already? Or one of those gypo small countries nobody carse about.-- NickTheGreat, May 29 2002 Stomach doing a controlled slow logroll at this point.
Primo narrative there, ¯FarmerJohn!-- reensure, May 29 2002 This is a *GAK* not an *ERK*-- bristolz, May 29 2002 Or a *GERK* ?-- mcscotland, May 29 2002 *ACK*-- yamahito, May 29 2002 <serial communications geek>*NACK*</scg> seems appropriate. I hear you but, it just ain't workin' for me.-- half, May 29 2002 GAK is far more regurgitive than ERK-- bristolz, May 29 2002 Have you considered *blluuuurch*?-- NickTheGreat, May 29 2002 FarmerJohn's short lived career in the fast-food industry left him an uneasy, far from self-satisfied and deeply troubled individual. try being a traffic warden for a while, much more you.....-- po, May 29 2002 *GAK* is more regurgitative. I was choking down my... reaction.-- phoenix, May 29 2002 Yeah, well, I still like *erk* better.-- bristolz, May 29 2002 FarmerJohn: Kudos, well written piece.
Hmm, that gives a whole new meaning to meat eating. A cow, that was fed veal, slaughtered, hawaian roasted, then its stomache emptied of the delicious half digested veal... mmm, makes my mouth water-- RWED, May 29 2002 real-world-educationally-distorted-- po, May 29 2002 This reminds me of a story I heard on NPR. Apparently, you can buy some very expensive coffee that is made from coffee beans that have been eaten whole and then shat out by monkeys. It gives them a very complex flavor.
I wonder what Starbucks would charge for a monkey-shit latte.-- SeattleBrad, May 30 2002 <Pedant>fight-or-fright convenience stoles, 9-Ereven, was doing werr, and his main suppriel of natular helb anthlax lemedy had plomised an evening out, out of the oldinary...</Pedant>-- thumbwax, May 30 2002 <pedant> oldinawy </pedant>-- yamahito, May 30 2002 Monica Rewinsky herped the election of Birr Crinton.-- FarmerJohn, May 31 2002 Reminds me of the machine in the 'Judge Dredd' movie, rolling around the hallways saying 'Eat recycled food'...-- StarChaser, Jun 01 2002 Well now. I don't have a story about regurgitated food that has been deep-fried. And I already did a thing about de-advertising all the well-known American fast food eateries.
No, I want to tell you about the very sensible behavior of American plains Indians during their days as horse-mounted hunters there. Sometimes meals came few and far between. During such times, bagging an antelope, for example, meant that you would live or die soon. The idea was that the starving hunters, having just felled an antelope, would immediately cut open the still-warm ungulate with a knife, pull out a healthy length of intestine, cut it, and then proceed to strip the contents out by holding the intestine with one hand and running the, oh, 2 or 3 foot length of intestine through two fingers of the other hand. The cleaned-out length was then cut off and swallowed quickly, like a big length of spaghetti noodle. Excellent strategy, considering that a hunting parting from an opposing tribe could fall upon the diners at any moment and steal the kill.-- entremanure, Jun 01 2002 No shit?-- StarChaser, Jun 01 2002 stomach acid errodes tooth enamel horribly-- monk, Sep 27 2003 aside from the fact that as a vegetarian i'm disgusted... but i appreciate your narrative talent farmer john-- monk, Sep 27 2003 random, halfbakery