Not what you first thought.

This is a small wheel, attached at the back of the toilet bowl, that springs out once you are finished your seated ablutions, to carefully clear away any, umm... stains.

Half a dozen synthetic human "tongues', rotating at a speed of your choosing, on a little wheel, to lovingly lave your starfish and nether regions sparkling clean.

As you were...
-- UnaBubba, May 11 2022

Holy shit, he's alive! [-]
-- 21 Quest, May 11 2022


Why did I hear this idea being read in the voice of Lewis Black?
-- 21 Quest, May 11 2022


If you want to worship shit, this is your big chance, [21 Quest].
-- UnaBubba, May 11 2022


Nah, I was given a MAGA hat once and I'm pretty sure that was the biggest chance to worship shit I ever had.
-- 21 Quest, May 11 2022


You win, dude. Did you set it on fire, immediately, in case it was fitted with the optional brain-sucker?
-- UnaBubba, May 11 2022


Burned it in the fireplace, along with the entire boxed set of Rush Revere books my father had sent with the intention that I would read them to my daughter.
-- 21 Quest, May 11 2022


Jolly good.
-- UnaBubba, May 11 2022


ew [+/-]
-- Voice, May 11 2022


As far as shitty ideas go I don't think anyone can lick this one.

...

<rim shot>
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, May 11 2022


If one could bun an anno...
-- 21 Quest, May 11 2022


Thank you, [2 fries]. I knew you would give it your best go.
-- UnaBubba, May 11 2022


Where you been UB? Have a welcome back bun. [+]
-- doctorremulac3, May 11 2022


Why does my best go always feel like number two though?

Wait, don't answer that!
I just need to push a bit further and I'm sure it will all come clean in the end.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, May 11 2022


Plenty where that came from, [2 fries]?
-- UnaBubba, May 11 2022


Where have I been? Stuck in the painful, quotidian revolving door that is real life. Still there... just popped in to post an idea, and then thought of another one.

Stopped before I decided to break my personal record of 22 in a day.
-- UnaBubba, May 11 2022


Why //synthetic//?
-- pocmloc, May 11 2022


Happy to harvest your tongue if you aren't using it, [pocmloc]... or Mrs Brown, if you prefer that.
-- UnaBubba, May 11 2022


sick and disgusting +
-- xandram, May 11 2022


If artificial tongues aren't licking it, tell Republicans to wait just inside, because Trump always sits there...
-- 4and20, May 13 2022



random, halfbakery