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Home: Child: Safety
Toddler Harpoon   (+16, -1)  [vote for, against]
Ever take a 2 year old out for a walk?

Me: ”You have to hold my hand when we’re near the road” Small: “No! Don’t want to… Not hold hand” Me: “You’ve got to, it’s dangerous here” Small: “No! No! Daddy! Not hold hand!” (wriggles out of grasp) Me: “No! STOP!”…

…but she’s off, faster than I can run, straight towards the busy road junction.

Oh no, not again.

So I unsling the harpoon gun from my back, calmly shoulder it, aim, and squeeze the trigger.

The bolt whistles through the air and thwacks into her back.

A perfect shot. The big Velcro pad on the harpoon (this is Mark II, of course) meshes with the Velcro target on her back, and I reel her in.

It’s much better than the Mark I – less mess, fewer raised eyebrows at A&E.
-- Frankx, Jul 31 2006

Sounds like some form of urban fishing.
-- skinflaps, Jul 31 2006


Newswire: Tragic accident blamed on Toddler Harpoon kits being issued with 'loop' targets and 'loop' harpoons - kid's father to sue.
-- hippo, Jul 31 2006


Mind out she doesn't get reeled in by a gang of Japanese 'scientists', out harpooning toddlers for 'research'.
-- wagster, Jul 31 2006


Nice image (though the Mark I would be nicer).
Are baby reins no longer available?
-- angel, Jul 31 2006


Could save lives. Poor Eric Clapton could have used this.
-- DrCurry, Jul 31 2006


I could use the Mark I version...
-- DesertFox, Jul 31 2006


[+]
-- Dub, Jul 31 2006


Sounds like you need one of those toddler harness-leash deals, [Frankx].
-- bungston, Jul 31 2006


This is not nearly what I thought it was.
-- shapu, Jul 31 2006


a toddler can out-run you? [Frankx], you need to work out ;)
-- xaviergisz, Aug 01 2006


yes she can, and yes, I do!
-- Frankx, Aug 01 2006


Love it! [+]
-- The_Englishman_Abroad, Aug 01 2006


.( }
|\\==o'#=== ----------------+
) |
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Aug 02 2006


English. :-(
-- blissmiss, Aug 02 2006


Whats wrong bliss? It's not like I 'have' kids... it's more the thought of spearing them with a velcro harpoon gun from a distance of eighty paces....
*blink*
-- The_Englishman_Abroad, Aug 02 2006


Oh, you guys like children? Me too! Can we swap recipes?

Only joking, this would be great for my pet monster - er, I mean - little brother...
-- froglet, Aug 02 2006


I think lassooing children to whisk them out of the path of danger would look cooler.
-- hippo, Aug 02 2006


Although it would be rather tragic if you lasooes their necks to whisk them out of safety, [hippo].
-- froglet, Aug 02 2006



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