All aboard the toaster bus. A traditional double decker bus,whereas the passengers sit up top astride in two rows running down the length of the bus.When you have almost reached your desired destination you don the supplied parachute supplied under the seat and press the green button which in turn will spring your seat upwards ejecting you through the open toaster slits hurling you upwards at which point the parachute will open and you can float to the ground.

The toaster bus only operates a non stop a-b route in summer.
-- skinflaps, Sep 23 2003

shameless plug http://www.halfbake...r_20skelter_20buses
[po, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

//All aboard the toaster bus

How, if it doesn't stop?
-- never trust a man in a blue trench coat, Sep 23 2003


<snicker> (who cares?) +
-- Tiger Lily, Sep 23 2003


I like the basic concept but there are some practical problems.

The first is never trust's point about picking up passengers (which you have now dealt with, I note).

The second is the method by which the passengers gain enough height for the parachute to be properly deployed. A standard ejection seat is rocket assisted. I don't know about you but I don't fancy being sat next to somebody when they're about to leave the bus using this method. Also, once the seat has ejected, what does the next passenger sit on?

The third problem is trajectory. How do you arrange it so that the passengers don't a) cannon into nearby tall buildings or b) float gently down into the middle of the road and get squished?
-- DrBob, Sep 23 2003


I can see bridges being a problem.
-- PeterSilly, Sep 23 2003


Rods, that's only if you ride on the microprocessor route.
-- Tiger Lily, Sep 23 2003


No, but you're probably going to skid across a large pat of butter and come to rest in a vat of marmalade.
-- Don Quixote, Sep 23 2003


[DrBob]'s third problem is more difficult to solve, especially given that buses are notorious for turning up in triplets. If you're on the first bus, you wouldn't want to boing in front of any subsequent bus.

Also, how non-stop is "non-stop"? For example, I want to get off just after those traffic lights. Do you assume the bus doesn't stop at the red light?
-- PeterSilly, Sep 23 2003


mmm...toast

can we have hotbutteredtoast sold on board please? With or without marmelade..

mmm...marmelade
-- squeak, Sep 23 2003


There should also be a panel on the bottom of the bus that can be removed to make it easier to clean out things that the passengers drop upon being ejected (keys, shoes, etc.)
-- AO, Sep 23 2003


It would cost a fortune in parachutes if each passenger took theirs with them when they ejected. There would have to be some sort of way of retrieving the parachutes. Perhaps they can be tethered to the bus with very long chord, so that if the passenger doesn't remove the parachute quickly after landing, they get dragged along behind the bus kicking and screaming and proclaiming that they only wanted to borrow the parachute, they were going to give it back, honest.
-- quaero curvus, Apr 12 2005


Lets use the train mail-bag system instead of parachutes. Passengers are ejected wearing a backpack that has a 2 foot attachment with a hook at the top (I would draw a picture to illustrate this but I suck at drawing).

Every 1/4 mile or so there would be "hook catchers" attached to light poles. After being hooked they would push a quick release button on the backpack straps and drop to the ground.

Used backpacks would remain on the light pole attachments to be picked up later by a truck.
-- 37PiecesOf Flair, Apr 12 2005



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