We all know somebody who engages in unwanted tickling. They have the annoying habit of skulking up and invading your personal space, delivering gut-wrenching stomach tickling just as you're throwing back a huge gulp of iced tea.
These persons have no sense of when it is an appropriate time to tickle their friends, and so they alienate the ones they intended to asphixiate with laughter. All too often it ends with unrequited tickling (the ticklee doesn't laugh). Sometimes it ends with a painful blow to the head from the ticklee's elbow (the elbow is the most effective weapon against being tickled in common use today).
This problem can be better managed with a device I'm calling the Tickle Me Elbow. It's basically an enormous, protruding red fuzzy elbow pad. When you show up wearing the Tickle Me Elbow, youre letting your tickle-inclined friends know that you're ready to be tickled, and also that you're prepared, in a safe and fun way, to give as good as you get.
On impact, the Tickle Me Elbow emits various phrases in a high-pitched, cute monster voice, such as "Elbow *likes* to be tickled" or "Uh-oh, Elbow made somebody fall down!" or "Haha! Can you see cute little birdies?"-- dijontoothpaste, May 30 2003 "I know a monkey who needs a tickle..." http://www.mrmen.com/On what kids site could you likely hear that phrase? [RayfordSteele, Aug 22 2007] Pun-ishing.-- bristolz, May 30 2003 Especially when a knee to the groin is most effective.-- DrCurry, May 30 2003 This suggests something like the "Kick Me Cup" which is, of course, roughly baked.-- dijontoothpaste, May 30 2003 I find that people with a propensity to tickle don't really have friends. So, that might make this invention obsolete. Why monkey around, put a fist to a face without the faux fur. The only guy I knew who was an obsessive tickler also turned out to be a child molester.-- k_sra, May 30 2003 That's weird. We had a guy like that at summer camp when I was a kid. He liked to tickle everyone, and we all thought he seemed to enjoy doing it rather too much.-- snarfyguy, May 30 2003 Ok, the freaks and molesters are kindofa separate issue. Those SOB's deserve something a bit less fuzzy in the "hint" department.
This isn't for people like that. This is for that girlfriend, boyfriend, sibling or peer who *in theory* you don't mind tickling you, but as a practical matter, you'd prefer they didn't. Remember, by prearranged convention, the ticklee is not to be tickled *unless* they are wearing their TME.
If they step over that line, simply go ballistic and rip them a new one: "Do you SEE a Tickle Me Elbow strapped to my arm?" By establishing the groundrules implied by the ownership of the device, you can get some peace and quiet, simply by never wearing it.-- dijontoothpaste, May 30 2003 when I was a kid, people seemed to enjoy pinching my knees. I HATED it and the more I hated it, the more they did it - its a kind of abuse really.-- po, May 30 2003 Someone pinched your knees? I never heard of such a thing. Cheeks, yes, tossling hair, tickling chins, but pinching knees? Quelle horreur!-- k_sra, May 30 2003 It's spelled *niece*-- thumbwax, May 30 2003 Not to freak people out, but the only guy I've ever known who couldn't resist randomly tickling people was Dr. Harold Shipman, the most famous serial killer in British history. Kinda makes you think. In his defence, the guy makes a cracking lasagne.-- sambwiches, May 30 2003 Your best original as of yet, Dijon... I give it two elbows up! +-- X2Entendre, May 30 2003 for once a *good* idea based on a pun! woo-hoo!!!!-- ninjafishcake, May 31 2003 *dijon makes plans for follow-ups - tickle me alamo and tickle me (jessica) alba*-- sambwiches, May 31 2003 random, halfbakery