A remote control device that in everyway resembles a man-eating shark functioning like a scarecrow, but here, instead of scaring off crows, the scare-shark wards off unwanted beachgoers.
Simply launch the scare-shark in a nonchalant fashion, avoiding visual detection as best as possible. Then place yourself inconspicuoulsy on the beach where you can "drive" your "shark" back and forth in the surf until complete pandemonium wreaks havoc upon the masses, and the beach clears.
At this point you have your own private beach paradise to enjoy alone, or with friends and family. Perfect for starstruck lovers, surfers, or those who love to frolic naked on the barren shores of an empty beach.-- milkbone, Jul 23 2002 The scare-shark mark I? http://www.spaghett...w.php3?review_id=15[Fink] [Fink]Man bites Shark? http://news.bbc.co....ounties/2984936.stmJun 12 2003: "A comedian could be prosecuted by an aquarium after he dived into a shark tank as a publicity stunt and then two days later one of the fish died....The smooth hound shark, which would normally live for about 25 years, is being examined by biologists to see if it died from the stress of the prank." [Fink, Jul 23 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004] This won't deterr... http://www.halfbake...0Attack_20Surfboard...surfers with Highland Toffee Surfboards [calum, Jul 23 2002] Man bites Shark? http://news.bbc.co....ounties/2984936.stmJun 12 2003: "A comedian could be prosecuted by an aquarium after he dived into a shark tank as a publicity stunt and then two days later one of the fish died....The smooth hound shark, which would normally live for about 25 years, is being examined by biologists to see if it died from the stress of the prank." [krelnik, Oct 04 2004] This idea reminds me of a high tec version of the childrens book 'The great white man eating shark' by Margaret Mahy.-- Fink, Jul 23 2002 Plus maybe giant loudspeapers that shake the sand with some background from Jaws: boom Boom BooM BOOM B-O-O-M!-- FarmerJohn, Jul 23 2002 I don't see how a shark would clear the beach. Water, yes. Beach, no. Unless it's a Land Shark.
Try and post a few signs that read: "No Swimming or Sunbathing: Chemical Spill" this might have the desired result.
DARPA, MIT and others, have been working the autonomous, robotic fish concept for a while. If yours really eats people, I'll croissant it.-- dag, Jul 23 2002 I thought this was going to be a great idea to scare sharks away from beaches, to keep them safer for us humans to enjoy. I was curious to find out what would actually scare a shark away.-- XSarenkaX, Jul 23 2002 A small, submerged hungry-looking Japanese businessman carrying a soup bowl?-- namaste, Jul 23 2002 //..what would actually scare a shark away..// Roy Scheider cardboard cutouts?-- Mr Burns, Jul 23 2002 [blissmiss] I like how you have expanded upon the idea, and thanks for the welcome.-- milkbone, Jul 23 2002 Slight aside... I saw docu' yesterday claiming that Great Whites (and I guess other sharks) take a bite at things to 'check them out'. They don't have hands so the swim by and use the only semi-prehensile thing they have. It just so happens this turns out to be a humungous, tooth infested gaping maw.-- Jinbish, Jul 23 2002 What about mudsharks? Mud sh-sh-shark-- demtangs, Jun 16 2003 Of all these sub-ideas, I like the Jaws theme best. It's legal and while it couldn't directly cause a panic, it would probably freak most people out enough to clear the water.
Incidentally, I remember a nature documentary that was testing various frequencies from hydrophones and seeing how they attracted sharks. Some joker put on the Jaws theme and found that actually, that worked best.
As for [Jinbish]'s comment about poor sharkies not having hands to feel up divers, perhaps we could breed sharks with prehensile tongues?
<Eeeeeeeek!> "Something just licked me!"-- FloridaManatee, Jun 16 2003 To clear the beach: Scare-Pirates?-- colaaddict, Jun 18 2003 Reminds me of a recent incident in which a shark was 'scared to death' by a prank. See link.-- krelnik, Jun 18 2003 [baked] I saw a NGM documentary showing a robotic shark that they used to observe shark's natural behaviour. They didn't remember to use it to scare people away, though-- PauloSargaco, Mar 02 2004 yes, supposedly most so called *attacks* are just the shark bumping with its (sandpapery) nose to find out what you are, if it thinks you are a seal, it will circle back and bite thee. poor sharks, so misunderstood...-- monk, May 15 2004 random, halfbakery