Need some light reading to while away the time on the porcelain throne? Pored over every article in your emergency bathroom stash three times already? Someone used your "Classics of Literature" toilet paper roll and now you've missed the crucial five leaves (the butler did it, btw.)?
I present to you, the Toilet Printer (TP for short). It acts as a toliet paper holder that also prints on it. Optic sensors detect perforations in the roll and determine the page size and layout. You set the number of leaves you expect to use, and the TP prints out some light reading for you. It connects to your PC (the Deluxe version can access the Internet directly and is independent of your PC), collects RSS feeds you're subscribed to, and prints out as much as fits on the set number of leaves. Or prints out the next few pages of a book you're reading this way. The TP can store bookmarks and settings for several users.
There's also the "blank" button, for when you just need some paper.
I really expected something like this to be halfbaked already, if not fully baked, but I just can't find it in any toilet paper or printer related category.-- Veho, Apr 08 2009 As you may be aware, i have papers by Jean Baudrillard in the little boys' room in order not to use them as toilet paper (since it's not good enough). A slightly higher quality of document, which come to think of it might even be a blank piece of paper, would be usable for that purpose, so [+].-- nineteenthly, Apr 08 2009 This would be useful for printing out the degrees of my local university, where dumbing down has created an army of semi-literate, drunken, culchie headed, swamp dwelling, loo-laas (apologies for rant)-- xenzag, Apr 08 2009 Printer and ink technology are advanced enough these days to handle soft toilet paper. And printers are really cheap lately, because the companies admitted they're just in it to sell ink.
The rest of your anno stands, but I never let mere practicality stand in the way of halfbaking :)-- Veho, Apr 08 2009 I think I'd prefer the opportunity for some non-contact, gesture-driven gaming, designed for sitting players.-- Aristotle, Apr 08 2009 I think I'd prefer the opportunity for some non-contact, gesture-driven gaming, designed for sitting players ...-- Aristotle, Apr 08 2009 Cool. Would be nice if it could be linked to an optical sensor/displacement sensor to give you positive feedback on your progress. Then it could print "Nice one!" or "Mind the Splash!" in real time.-- nomocrow, Apr 08 2009 random, halfbakery