"Ooo, Dad, what's the parcel?! Can I open it now, can I, can I?"
"Here you go, son, happy birthday! I think you'll like this - and it's educational too, so Mom'll be pleased!"
"Oh wow! It's the Game! The Halfbaker's Apprentice! Awesome! Everyone at school is going to be so jealous!"
"Now, let's have a look at those rules.
"First, insert the batteries into your Mini-Trump <TM>, and turn him on.Each player takes it in turn to be 'the Apprentice'. They are then given two Fact cards, which they read out. Then they have twenty seconds to come up with a product idea. They then go out of the room, and all the other players have to badmouth the Apprentice and his/her dumb idea really loudly. The Mini-Trump then analyses their voice signals to see whether they really mean all the abuse, and delivers his verdict. He may back you to the hilt, he may just wish you luck or he may... FIRE YOU!
"So Sonny, what are your first two cards?"
"This one says: 'We all like coconuts.' And this one is: 'Siberia's lakes are drying up.'"
"Hmm. That's a tricky one."
"I know! How about: breeding giant coconuts and using the proceeds from selling the milk to fund launching the shells into space, where they can act as solar shields and cool the planet!"

"Don, I can't believe you brought him this. These so-called 'facts' are completely random! Look at this: 'Many people wear socks in bed'. That's not even true! Or this one: 'we all agree cow farts are a bad thing.' I'll bet cows are okay with them!"
"Aw, relax, darling. It's all about creating a free-thinking entrepreneurial spirit! This game is the American way, in a box! Who cares if some of the facts are a bit quirky? That's the whole point! You brought that magnetic juice realigner, even though you knew the sciencey bit on the box was complete baloney."
"Now don't start on me, Don. You know that was a present for Theresa after her husband died in that freak seal-clubbing accident, I just got it out of the box to test it..."

There's also an advanced version, where progressively fewer words are printed on each card, to the point where World-class players receive cards saying:
Fact 1: The biscuit.
Fact 2: We blank blank blank, Armageddon, blank.
The winner wins the 'Fat Cat' award, and gets to look dyspeptic for a year.
-- moomintroll, Jul 12 2005

Crunchy Biscuits
Biscuits to give to people during the Armageddon, make them crunchy and yummy so the crunch blocks out all the people blabbing on about the end of the world. Icing peace symbols across the top. Icing made out of pure sugar and morphine.
-- daseva, Jul 12 2005


HEE HEE HEE!!! Thanks for that [moomintroll], it's been a long day and that really made me giggle myself silly!
-- wagster, Jul 12 2005


Note to self: filter for coconuts
-- reensure, Jul 12 2005


In a great maelstrom of emotions and poor thinking and along comes a child's toy that makes sense of life, the universe and everything. Thank you, [moom], thank you. +
-- k_sra, Jul 13 2005


Thanks to whoever moved this to the right category. I should have guessed I wasn't alone!
-- moomintroll, Jul 13 2005


I'm blatently churning this as it's great and most people seem to have missed it.
-- wagster, Jul 14 2005


Thanks for churning it, [wags]. I'm one of those who'd missed it the first time around. I wonder why it got 2 bones. It's a fantastic idea, [moom]!
-- Machiavelli, Jul 14 2005


Oh all right then, I'll read it. Sheesh.
-- waugsqueke, Jul 14 2005


<adds dyspeptic to vocabulary>
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jul 15 2005


Someone should market something like this as a party game.
-- RayfordSteele, Jul 15 2005


''Many people wear socks in bed''
''we all agree cow farts are a bad thing''

Make cows wear scented socks to absorb and destroy the cow fart odor.
-- DesertFox, Jul 17 2005



random, halfbakery