Onlookers may stare at your oversize wig, but once the Hairpoon is activated, everyone will want one.

Flick the switch in your lapel and your mega-quiff will part like the red sea, revealing a cannon-like device with a silver grappling hook poking magnificently in the direction of up. Flick the switch once more and it will fire the grapple, attaching itself (if well aimed) around the bough of a tree, office fixture, streetlight, verandah/patio etc.

All of this must be done with the greatest of haste for in this day and age first impressions are of most importance. Once you are satisfied your Hairpoon is secure, pull a cleverly disguised lever and a motorised winch will pull you quickly into the air with a comical 'zing!' sound - ending with a single bell ring when you reach the top.

All of the components are carefully hidden beneath your leisure suit in a backpack and safety harness that supports and comforts your neck and oversized wig.

This may be of assistance in uncomfortable situations when a hasty exit is required, or you just wish to vent your frustration.

Be careful not to operate if you are walking your dog - unless of course it also has a Hairpoon attachment.
-- benfrost, Oct 10 2005

(??) So that's what's in there... http://www.islanden...og/aascouserset.jpg
[wagster, Oct 10 2005]

the Hairpoon Mega-Quiff http://www.benfrost...com/HB_hairpoon.htm
my first HB illustration [benfrost, Oct 10 2005]

Brothel creepers http://www.istockph...rothel_creepers.jpg
[calum, Oct 10 2005]

[ben], this one's got me confused. How is the Hairpoon attached to your head and how can it be activated without ripping your scalp off?
-- DocBrown, Oct 10 2005


OK so I did an illustration of this idea. see link
-- benfrost, Oct 10 2005


Love the illustration [benfrost], very classy. [+]
-- hidden truths, Oct 10 2005


Excellent illustration, [benf].

A thought: the mega quiff wig will require a rope-masking "duck's arse" teddy boy rear. Perhaps, then, the styling could be further extended to incoporate a Teddy Boy square-shouldered jacket (for hising harness straps) and sucker soled leopard skin upper brothel creepers, to facilitate walking about on walls.
-- calum, Oct 10 2005


Oh no! Illustrations from [benfrost]! It just gets better.+
-- cromagnon, Oct 10 2005


(+) Repunzel, how the hell did you get up there?
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Oct 10 2005


Have just seen your illustration and hammered the [for] button repeatedly.
-- wagster, Oct 10 2005


*boggle*

*vote*
-- shapu, Oct 10 2005


A clever contraption, whose main purpose is to aid the fighting of crime and to escape embarassing situations in which your secret identity and/or balsheadedness is about to be revealed. (+)
-- jellydoughnut, Oct 11 2005


I love that illustration. One Hairpoon'ed croissant for you.
-- DesertFox, Oct 11 2005


hehe thankyou's
-- benfrost, Oct 11 2005


I think I'm gonna have to build up my traps for this one. Or get a back brace, or something that would avoid hanging myself by my head. The last time I tried that it wasn't comfortable.
-- RayfordSteele, Oct 11 2005


OK, that could work. I still fear for my neck but what the hey [+].
-- DocBrown, Oct 11 2005


I live near the airport, and see fabulous opportunities...but Homeland Security will probably have kittens. *Boom!...zing!...ding! - whoosh!*
-- elhigh, Oct 11 2005


this so reminds me of the latest foster's ad - have you seen it?
-- po, Oct 11 2005


it's winner, especially in Las Vegas where such a splendid quiff would not look out of place.

Ben, mate, top illustration too... it *made* the idea. More maybe?
-- jonthegeologist, Oct 11 2005


Just let me grab my towel and we're off.
-- RayfordSteele, Oct 11 2005


bun purely for the illustration [+]
-- Mr Phase, Oct 12 2005


I love that illustration. But I have to say I am glad you didn't illustrate all your ideas (particularly the Food: Genital ones.)
-- PollyNo9, Oct 13 2005


//Homeland Security will probably have kittens//

Adorable Homeland Security kittens: free to good home. You won't know they're there.
-- pertinax, Feb 07 2007


I gave you a bun for the name alone. I had a look at your drawing and wished I could give you another.
-- madradish, Feb 07 2007



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