stick on goiter (various colors, shapes, skin tone to match for a natural look or not, varied texture you could get a meaty supple Techno Goiter or a tough thick one)

essentially a computer built into a rubbery enclosure that looks like an excessive goiter, you visit your plastic surgeon to choose and be fitted for a high end model that makes you look best in the mirror. it sticks to your neck and the underside of your jaw where a real goiter goes

loaded with wireless access, broadband internet, modem etc.. and has skin flaps with embedded speakers that extend just below your ears so that you can hear and have a conversation without ear buds.

would think it could be voice activated or have some way of activating your teeth as keyboard keys or maybe it could monitor tongue action as an input device

vibration from speaking, eating, swallowing or swinging from side to side as you walk(depending on how extended a model it is) would keep the batteries charged.

last thing the best part would be if the goiter could speak to you and announce your schedule or broadcast your phone conversation, or play music
-- vfrackis, Apr 15 2009

Really the only reason to have all of that computing in the goiter zone is if you want proximity to the larynx, so it can speak through your mouth using your own speaking hardware. The computer would thus speak via you. This might be helpful if you needed to speak some language you did not know, say smart things when you are dumb, or sing along with songs you have not heard before. It could also help if you wanted to recite all the digits of pi but not take breaks for sleeping.
-- bungston, Apr 16 2009



random, halfbakery