I don’t know about you, but I always tend to overfill the kitchen garbage bag. Looks like there’s plenty of room for more, but when I pull it out and try to twist-tie it there’s about half an inch left on top and the damn tie unties on the way to the dumpster and the top droops open and the toilet paper rolls hop out and roll around on the street and as I try to corral them, the beer cans fall out clanking and everybody’s walking their dog and I’m totally embarrassed in front of the whole neighborhood.

I thus propose the “smart” trash bag that tells you when it’s time to take a dump. No more eyeballing, no more guessing… no more messing.

Here’s how it works: A sensor strip is incorporated around the bag at the level of maximum capacity. i.e. the point to where it may be filled yet still close securely. When the garbage reaches the sensor line the bag lets you know it’s time to go. How? Ah, the “smart” part. A tiny chip like those used in musical greeting cards is activated and cries out, “Trash me. Trash meeee.” *ref: end of The Fly – Vincent Price version*

But why not just print the line? Aw come on, this is so much more fun. Imagine the looks you’ll get on the way to the dumpster toting a bag that’s screaming, “Trash me. Trash meeee.” Makes taking out the garbage fun again. And not to mention when you open that dumpster and hear a chorus of tiny voices all singing, “Trash me. Trash meeee.”

GLAD, if you want to pick up on this, here’s your ad slogan: “Glad Bags. Now we’re Talking Trash!”
-- MauiChuck, May 16 2005

To me, a smart trash bag is one that goes round the picking the garbage up for you (I think these may also be called dogs).

Use handle tie trash bags - no more fiddling with ties.
-- DrCurry, May 16 2005


So, the internet now reaches Hawaii?
-- Basepair, May 16 2005


You could use the bags as a joke or prank on like Halloween. It would be funny if you got a giant trash bag the size of a person and alter the voice part, then fill it up, and drag the bag down the street while the voice thing is saying 'help meeee, help meee'. That would get a few stares.
-- hobbitcoat, May 17 2005


The top-of-the-line version should have sensors warning of glass, liquids, long pointy things, etc. Hazardous materials alarms ?
-- normzone, May 17 2005


Where the hell is my vap-o-cycle refuse receptacle and jet hovercar? It's the 2000's already!
-- Soterios, May 18 2005


//and jet hovercar?// It's on it's way. :P
-- EvilPickels, May 18 2005


[Soterios], we expended all that potential on partisan bickering and warfare. Oh, and there were some engineering issues as well.
-- normzone, May 18 2005


[+] for the chorus of little singing trash bags.
-- moomintroll, May 18 2005


So trash me, trash me. What can you ask me. For I love youuu. (Anybody remember Guys & Dolls?)
-- MauiChuck, May 19 2005


Or you could just empty the bins when they get full. I'd say this was intended as a fun, creative but not altogether serious idea. Would you like an Occam's Butter Knife award, or would you rather that this idea, based wholly on the gratuitous and unnecessary use of technology to do a very simple job, be taken in the way you intended it? Hmm.
-- david_scothern, May 25 2005


After 3 years, I read this and laughed 'til my eyes teared Can't believe I wrote it. Must have been sober. Can you imagine what Jeff Foxworthy could do to this premise?
-- MauiChuck, Sep 28 2008


David, you are absolutely on the mark. But isn't that what it's all about? Creating far out solutions to simple problems. Lampooning the products they try to sell you on TV and industies making silly stuff we don't really need?
-- MauiChuck, Oct 16 2008



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