A number of public restrooms have single ply utility grade toilet paper that feels like sandpaper when scraped against your hole. It's also extremely thin and the ramifications of that need no further explanation. Fortunately, a lot of restrooms also have two rolls in the same stall. What if you could use both of these layers at once?
The TP Wringer is a portable device similar to the antiquated versions used to wring the water from clothes so that they would dry quicker. The TP Wringer is hand cranked and has two rollers the width of an average square. Encircling the two edges of roller A are subtle square projections that mesh with corresponding square dimples of roller B when the crank is turned. Additionally, roller A contains a reservoir of water that can escape through pin-sized holes placed throughout.
The two sheets are pressed together as they are fed through the rollers, with extra pressure near the edges provided by the dimples and knobs. The tiny amount of water secreted by roller A penetrates both layers in the immediate local vicinity of the droplet creating just enough cohesive force without leaving the paper soggy.
Of course, you have to find a way to feed both sheets at once, which is no easy task when cranking at the same time. There is no battery operated version because that would detract from the whimsical nature of this idea.-- Cuit_au_Four, Mar 01 2008 dammit I was late too. why did noone correct me at the time? Ply Doubler [pocmloc, Feb 16 2023] Much simpler to construct a sytem that folds the output of a roll onto itself, no?-- WcW, Mar 01 2008 Well you could always take two long sheets from the same roll and feed them through the device.-- Cuit_au_Four, Mar 01 2008 I suspect the problem is that you're American, and therefore a scruncher. A true Englishman is a folder, and will assemble a neat stack of sheets, adjusting their number according to their thickness. The more fastidious Englishmen even have their little leaflets stitch-bound before use.
Incidentally, you really shouldn't use the word "toilet" - it rather marks you out.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 01 2008 I was about to post a similar idea for Toilet Paper Multiplexer, but alas Cuit_au_Four beat me to it by more than a decade... [+]-- swimswim, Feb 16 2023 random, halfbakery