Next time you are shopping with a friend, and the lines are all very long, try this:

Stand on a line where the register next to it is not being used. Have your friend (who is wearing a red shirt with a name tag) go behind the empty register, fumble around with it for a minute, then shout "CAN I HELP THE NEXT PERSON PLEASE?" Naturally, people will jump from right in front of you onto the fictitious new line. Then your friend runs out of the store, and you curse the store's lax security system audibly as you step up to your place next in line.
-- phundug, Dec 18 2003

Funny AND cruel - it passes both tests and hence gets a +.
-- dobtabulous, Dec 18 2003


worth a try, but I don't think it will work quite right. lines at a supermarket are generally bordered by stands of candy and magazines, making it very hard for someone to turn around and get out unless there is no one behind them. i think you will notice that when a new register opens up, the line is quickly filled by people who were previously either at the end of a line, or about to choose a line. you are probably not going to end up getting anyone ahead of you to leave the line, so it wont have much of a point except to piss off/confuse a few end-of-the-line-shoppers... it probably would be pretty funny to watch your friend scamper out of the store and leave some people waiting for his return though. let me know how it works, [phundug]
-- luecke, Dec 18 2003


A bun for you, sir! [+]
-- Letsbuildafort, Dec 18 2003


The HalfBakery. The only place in the world where anyone would come up with "Business : Supermarket : Entertainment"
-- phoenix, Dec 18 2003


Instead of immediately running out of the store, your friend could proceed to “scan” the customer’s purchases and put them into a bag. (He’d have to discreetly say “boop, boop, boop,” since the machine would not actually be turned on.) He would then say, “that will be $17.64, please,” collect the money, and then start running.
-- AO, Dec 18 2003


"How many items, Miss?"

Boop, boop, boop...
-- k_sra, Dec 18 2003


Or he could start an exactly 89 items line which just happens to be what you have, pretend to ring them up, and then you both run from the store with the goods.
-- FarmerJohn, Dec 18 2003


Or you could just run from the store with the goods, but there's no fun in that.
-- Worldgineer, Dec 18 2003


Or you could store from the goods with the run. That's not very fun either.
-- k_sra, Dec 18 2003


Or you could shop online. How much fun that is probably depends on whether you surf naked.
-- DrCurry, Dec 18 2003


Hoo hah, this is a good one. And practical too, because the store manager might have to open that line, apologizing profusely. Perhaps Charlene...I mean...your friend, could actually bag the groceries, pretending to check them out, and then you could walk right out, whistling and swinging your plastic bags full of goodies.

I recently tried doing something similar at one of those new self-check-out lines. Turned out they monitor those things, and I had to do a lot of serious drooling before they let me go.

(See, anyone saying surf naked, and I'm here...)
-- pluterday, Dec 19 2003



random, halfbakery