Home: Cleaning: Dust
Statocatic duster   (+12, -2)  [vote for, against]
If cats are so clean...

Three points have come to my attention:
1) Dust is a nuisance in the home
2) It is possible to buy a range of dusters and dust-cloths which attract and hold dust by means of static electricity
3) These dusters are typically soft and fluffy
4) Cats are soft and fluffy.
So. There is presumably some slightly safe chemical with which they impregnate dusters to make them attract dust. An active domestic cat, sprayed with such a substance, would presumably collect an impressive amount of dust after a day spent lounging around on top of your TV, on the sunny spot on the parquet, or clambering over the bookshelves. Every few days, when the cat has become approximately spherical, a gentle brushing (over a dustbin) should remove the accumulated debris and allow your furry friend to start all over again.

A similar product (sold in smaller aerosol cans, but at the same price) could enable your hamster to leave your shelf of little glass ornaments sparkly clean.

[Edit] The former misguided inclusion of the word 'pussy' in the title has been reversed in the face of overwhelming and, frankly, wilfull misconstruement. You should all be ashamed of your elves.
-- Basepair, Jul 04 2005

Pussy http://www.urbandic....php?term=Pussy&r=d
[Ling, Jul 05 2005]

Hmmm... these dusters are usually disposable. I think you need to incorporate this attribute into your proposal, then you're onto a winner. (bun)
-- Stoo, Jul 04 2005


The dust part would be disposable, the cat part would be recyclable.
-- Basepair, Jul 04 2005


Work some "pussy" into the title and I'll be happy.
-- DenholmRicshaw, Jul 04 2005


Sorted.
-- Basepair, Jul 04 2005


Basepair: cats may be made of fluff, but feather dusters are made of, well, feathers. Start with a duck, instead of a cat, and I think you'll be on the right course. No special chemicals required.
-- DrCurry, Jul 04 2005


I have actually been working on the DusterDuck for some time. I have a virtually dust-free pond.
-- Basepair, Jul 04 2005


purr
-- DenholmRicshaw, Jul 04 2005


Unlike my failed CleaningChimp(tm) program, in which a monkey would be covered from head-to-toe in suds, then be allowed to run around the house doing whatever it pleased, this might work.
-- Kozi4361, Jul 04 2005


Why would anyone want to dust their pussy?
-- Ling, Jul 05 2005


They mite?
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jul 05 2005


What if you just want a cat to be happy? Can you not buy the chemical, or will it come as standard. Bun for the image of a cat roling in through the door and someone saying "It's time to dust off the cat again" in a weary voice.
-- Germanicus, Jul 05 2005


//Why would anyone want to dust their pussy?//

1. Women for years have dusted their pussies with flea powder.

2. The pussy can't do it alone?

3. Why not?
-- blissmiss, Jul 05 2005


cats are responsible for 99% of the dust at po's place.
-- po, Jul 05 2005


Most of the time, one might not want to pick up a dusty pussy or have to clean it off before playing with it. If this is the desired effect you are willing to live with or don't pick up your cat much, then sure. +
-- sartep, Jul 05 2005


//some slightly safe chemical//

Hah, I've got to get me some of that.

Victim: What did you just spray me with?
Me: Don't worry, it's slightly safe.
-- harderthanjesus, Jul 05 2005




// 1. Women for years have dusted their pussies with flea powder.//

That's it! That's just too much. Right now, I'm officially off women.
-- ldischler, Jul 05 2005


//my failed CleaningChimp(tm) program, in which a monkey would be covered from head-to-toe in suds, then be allowed to run around the house doing wahatever it pleased// Welcome [Kozi4361], this is indeed the site for you. (Look out for the spelling nazis though).
-- wagster, Jul 05 2005


I just knew it was a mistake to let MDenholm talk me into putting 'pussy' in the title. Now nobody is going to take this seriously.
-- Basepair, Jul 05 2005


ldischler: you prefer flea-bitten women? Or you're gay?
-- DrCurry, Jul 05 2005


//(Look out for the spelling nazis though).// What spelling mistakes are you implying? (shiftily eyeing the edit button whilst slinking away).

//ldischler: you prefer flea-bitten women?// I think that's to say nothing of Crabs.
-- Kozi4361, Jul 05 2005


//Right now, I'm officially off women.//

Good work, [bliss].
-- Detly, Jul 05 2005


//You should all be ashamed of your elves.// Yes, yes we will be, [Basepair].
-- Kozi4361, Jul 05 2005


I, for one, never took part in any dusty pussy banter.

I used to use my pussy to sweep the floor, and then I'd go slap it a few times on the front porch to get the dust off. You should have seen the look on my neighbor's face, me slapping my pussy, the damn thing dusty as hell.

Oh, yeah, and I've never owned a cat, soo....
-- daseva, Jul 05 2005


... It was a stray?
-- Kozi4361, Jul 05 2005


hiss
-- DenholmRicshaw, Jul 05 2005


The trouble is, Denholm, that *I* know you were thinking of cats, and *you* know you were thinking of cats, but the low-lifes that hang out here....
-- Basepair, Jul 05 2005


You didn't think it was the lowlives here, you thought it was our elves!
-- Kozi4361, Jul 06 2005


And where do you think the elves learn these bad habits?
-- Basepair, Jul 06 2005


Elf school? Or if you don't think of elves in the dnd type sense... Santa Claus.
-- Kozi4361, Jul 06 2005


uhh...

kitty litter, kitty litter...

hmm...

Nope, nothin'.
-- daseva, Jul 06 2005



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