A guy knocks on my door today and wants to "replace my water meter." I don't have any water problems that I know of. This is the second time a guy has come to inspect the meter. I'm thinking, "Hmmm - FBI, CIA, National Insecurity Administration setting up to tap my water pipes? Maybe the first tap failed and they are now installing Snowden proof technology?"

Castle keepers used to watch for wave patterns in containers of water sitting on the floor of the structure to detect invasion tunnels being dug by the enemy. Water tells a story.

The water microphone exists [2]. Send a guy dressed in water dept. clothing and driving a water dept. truck to change out the "water meters" that feed enemy embassies, meeting places, hotel rooms, etc. Send the guy into the building to "add the new water aerators to faucets that "will allow a higher volume of water flow - purely for the customer's convenience" but actually act as microphones to transmit speech (or put poison in the water on demand) to the "water meter."

If the enemy tests the water for acid to detect spies, instead listen to the voice induced vibrations in the water pipes via a laser focused on an outside water spigot [3] similar to the way native Americans put their ears to the rails to hear oncoming trains.

If the laser is detected utilize hydrophones or have the microphones convert or interpret the human conversation frequencies to/from the same low frequency high amplitude frequencies that Blue Whales have evolve that allow them to speak to one another across immense Oceans [1].

Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean I'm wrong.
-- Sunstone, Jan 27 2016

[1] Whale communications http://www.natgeotv...-communication.aspx
[Sunstone, Jan 27 2016]

[2] Water microphone https://en.wikipedi...ki/Water_microphone
[Sunstone, Jan 27 2016]

[3] Laser system converts window vibrations to speech https://duckduckgo....ons&t=ffab&ia=about
[Sunstone, Jan 27 2016]

//Americans put their ears to the rails to hear oncoming trains.// Only once, presumably.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 27 2016


Damn google books, I have to do this manually, walking by the ocean "Waterhouse imagines that the disturbance will propagate across the Pacific and into some super-secret Nipponese surveillance device made of bamboo tubes and chrysanthemum leaves; Nip listeners will know Waterhouse has gone that way. In turn the water swirling about Waterhouse's feet carries information about Nip propeller design and the deployment of their fleets..."

Neal Stephenson - Cryptonomicon
-- not_morrison_rm, Jan 27 2016


Today I learned spies are acidic.
-- Voice, Jan 27 2016


Thank you for doing that, [not_morrison_rm].

I first read that in trade edition but it's in the collection now in hard cover as well.
-- normzone, Jan 27 2016


Just because they are out to get you, doesn't mean you are paranoid.
-- popbottle, Jan 29 2016


//Americans put their ears to the rails to hear oncoming trains.//

When I was a Canadian I tested this theory by putting my ear on the track just AFTER a train passed through. I couldn't detect a thing although there is the possibility it was there but I am train deaf.
-- AusCan531, Jan 29 2016


If the theory is that the noise travels ahead of the train, then obviously you would hear nothing by listening after it.
-- pocmloc, Jan 29 2016


Wouldn't it be easier to simply monitor your internet and telephone like they do everyone else? What possible secrets could they extract from overhearing you in the bath? Also it sounds like you are totally doing the "person of interest" thing pretty wrong if the most effective way to monitor you is to listen to your mumblings, you totally need to up your game to sketching indecipherable plans on massive whiteboards and sending encoded messages to your contacts using newspaper crosswords dropped in public trash bins. You also need to try to get some red mercury. About a kilo. Not any other color, the red type.
-- WcW, Jan 29 2016


// I tested this theory by putting my ear on the track// The trick is to send someone _else_ to listen to the track. If they don't come back, there was a train.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 29 2016



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