I was strolling across the playground of my school yesterday and all the kids were playing football. I was dying to join in and Cruyff turn them all to death and rub their over energetic little noses in it, coz i'm obviously a caring and deep individual. But you know you get to an age where people assume you can't do that stuff any more <sigh>.
Then, just as I was feeling very old and tired the ball came bobbling out of the massed scrum and rolled straight into my path. With out a second thought (such as ignoring it or tapping it gently back to the nearest kid) i leathered it with the outside of my boot causing it to arc beautifully into the top corner of the net from about 20 yards. A goal of such sublime glory that 10 yrs ago I probably would have spoiled my boxers over it.
The kids gawped. I nodded a knowing nod,as if to say 'and tommorrow boys, I'll teach you how to be men!!' and sauntered on as if nothing had happened.
As I trudged back to my classroom however, I pondered on how such a moment could be made any more perfect... and then it dawned on me. Smoke Trail!!! A small cannister in the ball, perfectly centred so as not to unbalance it. With a pressure gauge so that as soon as a shot of sufficient force is used a smoke trail describes the flight of the ball in a suitable colour. Howzat?-- etherman, Feb 23 2005 Smokin' Shot ~bz [bristolz, Feb 24 2005, last modified Jun 28 2005] You could start a team and call them "The Red Arrows" [+]-- skinflaps, Feb 23 2005 love the story, smoke trail, ehhh, maybe. would cloudy up the playing field wouldn't it? as if the dust (here anyway) wasn't enough for the kids to deal with.-- dentworth, Feb 23 2005 perhaps there could be some kind of mechanism whereby the smoke is only activated in the penalty area?-- etherman, Feb 23 2005 Admit it, you sclaffed the kick and the ball trundled along the ground, spinning agonisingly wide of the post, the kids erupting into laughter and taunts.-- calum, Feb 23 2005 ye know as I was walking away afterwards i got a real shiver down my spine thinking about what would've happened had I shanked it over the hedge or through a window or something. never would have lived it down. when I was 17 a knocked a girls front tooth out with a beatuiful 15yrd volley. it was 3 days before her formal (prom). :o/
p.s it happened just as I described.-- etherman, Feb 23 2005 I believe you.-- calum, Feb 23 2005 <maniacal vietnam vet voice> you weren't there man you don't know!! <maniacal vietnam vet voice>-- etherman, Feb 23 2005 I don't think you really need the smoke - you're gonna be the man of the match for months.-- po, Feb 23 2005 i'd just like the temporary memorial of greatness that a hanging smoke trail would provide. tracing a line of precision genius above the upturned, gazing faces of the startled adolescents.-- etherman, Feb 23 2005 oh I get it, this smoke trail only occurs when [eth] kicks one in. Hang the other 11 players.-- dentworth, Feb 23 2005 Smokin good shot Mr. eth.-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Feb 24 2005 there are other players on the pitch [dent]? I never noticed that before. Its all about ME!!
Cheers 2 fries.
Yeah UB, I've done something similar, but didn't quite damanage to rupture anything.-- etherman, Feb 24 2005 I tried golf but i keep topping the ball. its less like golf and more like cross country snooker.-- etherman, Feb 24 2005 What about the stunning, airborne overhead bicycle scissor kick that screams into the net...only to be followed by the muffled grunts of the fallen footballer, now lying in a crumpled heap after landing on what can only be described a thoroughly dislocated elbow joint. (My goodness, it really, really hurt- but simultaneously gained me respect among friends and label as "feckin eejit" with medical staff)-- Jinbish, Feb 24 2005 'Feckin Eejit' that sounds familiar. Where did this calamity take place?-- etherman, Feb 24 2005 Tell the truth, [ether]. When you were finally out of the kids' line of sight, you pumped your fist in the air and clicked your heels midair. Nice shot. Fun idea.
Nice illustration, [bris]. I liked the idea even before I read it just by the drawing.-- Machiavelli, Feb 24 2005 where do I squeeze my magic sponge? drip, drip....
oh, wow bris! drip, drip, drip....-- po, Feb 24 2005 I think it's a triffic idea.-- Basepair, Feb 24 2005 I don't get the magic sponge thing, [po].-- bristolz, Feb 25 2005 brilllllliant bris. absolutely stupendous. thank you very much, big smile on my boyishly handsome face.-- etherman, Feb 25 2005 random, halfbakery