Smoking is banned on all flights these days. The solution for those hapless addicts who in this day and age still need their fix is Smoker Flights, i.e. flights in which all passengers and all crew members -- including the captain -- are free to inhale and exhale as much tobacco smoke as they wish, even in the lavatories, which would be fitted with anti-smoke detecters, which emit a shrill sound should anyone dare to relieve themselves without the obligatory cigarette hanging from the lower lip.
-- Dr Furtz, Jun 07 2001

Or, as [PeterSealy] suggested elsewhere, you can just go outside to smoke.
-- angel, Jun 07 2001


In fact, they should be smoker planes, dedicated to the smoking flights, so that the nonsmoking flights don't contain a lingering stench.
-- wiml, Jun 07 2001


In the event of a loss of cabin pressure, during which all cigarettes and other materials would be extinguished, emergency smoke-filled breathing masks will drop from the ceiling. If you have small children travelling with you, be sure to afix your mask and exhale directly into their faces.

In the event of a water landing, the bale of tobacco underneath your seat can be used as a floatation device.
-- centauri, Jun 07 2001


Good point, wiml. In fact, it should be a smoker airline, and be given an appropriate name such as "Air Freedom" or something along those lines.
-- Dr Furtz, Jun 08 2001


The airline's name should be "Cigare Volant." Or perhaps "Cigares Volants."
-- beauxeault, Jun 08 2001


a sign on the instrumen panel of a small plane I fly in regularly reads "If you wish to smoke, please step outside."
-- Freefall, Feb 03 2003


They used to have a smoking car on Mtero North trains (NYC / Upstate New York). Trouble was, everyone on the smoking car smoked so much that it was kinda disgusting to be on it, even for a smoker. In fact, you couldn't really even stand to be on it *unless* you were smoking, which just fed the problem.

I thought it would be nice if they had a car for in between smoking and non-smoking. An occasional smoking car, if you will.
-- snarfyguy, Feb 03 2003



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