We all love Jello brand gelatin snacks. Now, from the makers of Feces Pieces and Fiberglass Cotton Candy comes the latest gag food item, Silica Jello.
It's simply gelatin mixed with those little silica balls used as desicants (de-moisturizers) in new shoe boxes, electronics packaging and anywhere you don't want water to build up.
The silica is mixed with fruit flavored powdered gelatin, but is coated in a water-resistant covering, similar to the polymers used in some new cold pills...it only breaks down when it contacts saliva and stomach acids.
Imagine...you're sick of your job, but wanted to hold out for just another month so you can get that extra week of vacation. But hey, it's time for the company picnic!!
So whip up a batch of Silica Jello, cherry flavored, and bring it as your covered dish. Everyone will compliment you on your chic' choice of deserts. But within minutes, they'll begin dropping like flies, dehydrated and cramping from the nasty little silica pellets. "Yeh, that's for 8 years of nothing but a big pain in my arse, ya' bums! Want a glass of water?"
Silica gel is non-toxic, but it will dry them out pretty good, causing instant constipation, cotton mouth, stomach and leg cramping and a general sense of discontent.
-- rcornell, Mar 10 2001

How many repetitions of the basic "it's like FOOD ... but it's also DANGEROUS!" joke do you have to post before you get bored?

Maybe there's a food company parody website in this for you; I think it'll be quite a success. But at the halfbakery, I think we've got the joke, it's not really what the site is about, and I'm eagerly awaiting the point where you'll grow tired of your own schtick and move on.
-- jutta, Mar 10 2001


Soup? Hold the turtle, make it pee.
-- reensure, Mar 10 2001


Why wait, Jutta? Kill them off now...
-- StarChaser, Mar 10 2001



random, halfbakery