You programme your Shoutcase by preselecting a time, destination, accent, language and voice message, then you check it in. When the alloted time has expired - say 8 hours for a flight from London to New York, your Shoutcase becomes "live" and starts to whimper in a plaintive voice "Help me - I've been left behind - I should be in New York by now, someone please help me - I'm very lonely in here!" Naturally the message will become more urgent and louder if it is ignored until baggage handlers arrive to attend to its needs. Meanwhile you can relax, confident that your precious lost luggage will soon be dispatched, if only to shut it up.
-- xenzag, Oct 17 2005

Halfbakery: stuff that gets sad when stolen stuff_20that_20gets_20sad_20when_20stolen
A distant relative of this one. [jutta, Oct 17 2005]

Imagine the racket when a cargo hold full of shoutcases has been sitting on the tarmac too long, delayed from unloading. Would they start chatting? Argue? Evolve a class system?
-- wagster, Oct 17 2005


[wags] If they were British cases, they'd just "tut" loudly.
-- coprocephalous, Oct 17 2005


I'm bunning this. I rather like it. It's preposterous of course, but have we let that get in the way of a HB hit?
-- jonthegeologist, Oct 17 2005


This would inevitably lead someone to take a pick axe to the luggage, of course.
-- jellydoughnut, Oct 18 2005


There'd need to be some way of determining that it wasn't a stowaway running out of air, but I like it. +

Additional functions could include an "OOOF! Take it easy!" during rough handling.
-- Adze, Oct 18 2005


I imagine luggage that would otherwise attract the attention of the security forces, would want to be discrete and not start shouting for help - dangerous luggage might be programmed to confuse the staff with messages such as; "Get me outa here - that black Delsey beside me is ticking" A stowaway running out of air might be expected to shout; "Help, I'm a stowaway running out of air"
-- xenzag, Oct 18 2005


Or possibly "I am not a bomb".
-- hidden truths, Oct 18 2005


what [jutta] said.. this is a very slight twist on things that get sad when their stolen.
-- neilp, Oct 18 2005


Preheated in a Red Dwarf episode, where a wheeled suitcase wanders the spaceport, approaching people and describing it's owner in a wistful manner.
-- normzone, Oct 19 2005


Shoutcase: "I should be in <dramatically different voice> New York </ddv> by now. Could someone help me get to <ddv> New York </ddv> please."

Freaky.
-- Texticle, Oct 19 2005


have you seen "the little toaster?"
-- IcarusByNight, Oct 19 2005


I just had a look at "stuff that gets sad when stolen" - what I have described is not a slight twist on this idea, which I also really like - but how does it work? How does it "get to know you " ? and why does it get sad - could it not get happy because it prefers its new owner to the previous dweeb ? What I'm proposing could conceivably be manufactured - thought this was the principal behind bakery?
-- xenzag, Oct 19 2005


So this is a suitcase that start whining when it is stolen? Sounds like a very sad suitcase. Hang on a minute. I've read about sad stolen stuff before.
-- hidden truths, Oct 20 2005



random, halfbakery