Can you imagine how much of your taxes goes to keeping the lawn of the White House in pristine order and looking good year-round? The bill is huge, I can imagine. My idea would be to reduce the size of the White House lawn to save taxpayers' money. The reduction would begin from the public street and move toward the White House itself. Physically moving the fence in toward the House and paving the portion of the grass that is bleeding off onto Pennsylvania Avenue. Also, I'd not only open the street to cars and people so everyone could have a very close-up view of the President doing work, but I'd also allow a White House tour and invite people from all walks of life to visit the White House and use the White House bathrooms, etc. More important though is to shorten the White House lawn to save all of us a little money.
-- d-eschew, Feb 08 2001

In truth, I don't believe shortening the White House lawn would actually save anybody any money. What it will do however would be to make it easier for the nuts with guns to hit their target without having to rest midway through their sprint to catch their breath. It may not save us money but it will save the wildlife up in Alaska. Of course, to the Secret Service (SS, for short), I'm not advocating any violence or aggression. I just want the streets to be wider so I can drive my SUV.
-- d-eschew, Feb 08 2001


The lawn should be done up Brady style with astroturf everywhere... that way it would look perfect at all times, and maybe the Redskins could use it as a practice facility.
-- pnewp, Feb 08 2001


The Redskins practise?
-- DrBob, Feb 19 2001


I met a few Redskins "football" *hahahaha* players while living in D.C. - I can attest to the fact they have very nice homes, but am also unsure about practice.
-- thumbwax, Oct 31 2001


You know, I've been studying the White House recently, just for my own amusement (the fence encloses 18 acres, by the way). It just occured to me that I've never seen pictures of anyone mowing the lawn. Do you think it's a Secret Service guy? Or just some poor immigrant shlub? Or maybe it already *is* Astroturf....

Your other ideas are sadly awkward since 9/11; it's quite likely that at least a couple more streets will be closed to vehicle traffic entirely. But in eras passed you really could just drive up to the White House and knock.
-- ConsultingDetective, Feb 23 2004


or has the US government researched and implemented the stealth lawnmower?

do the secret service secretly mow the lawn?
-- engineer1, Feb 24 2004



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