A very simple nasal extractor like the snot sucker bulbs bought for babies. With an end that fits over a standard shop-grade vacuum hose.
That's all.-- RayfordSteele, Aug 17 2016 Sick day https://xkcd.com/1157/The mouse-over text is particularly applicable to this idea [lurch, Aug 17 2016] Better than a shop vac. http://www.skytamer.com/1.2/2002/2075.jpg [whatrock, Aug 18 2016] You might want to get in touch with an Egyptian mortician.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 17 2016 I'm sure a small piece of wire mesh would prevent any lumps of brain matter from being sucked out and causing damage to the vacuum cleaner.-- xenzag, Aug 17 2016 The problem is that the soft tissues collapse and occlude air flow. Although that makes a very attention-getting sound.-- bungston, Aug 17 2016 Just add a hole in the side of the tube that you can partially cover with your hand to regulate the suction applied to your nose.-- scad mientist, Aug 17 2016 hmm, you could cut the end off of one of those dental irrigation syringes and suck the snot out that way.
Grody but effective.-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Aug 17 2016 Det cord ?-- 8th of 7, Aug 17 2016 A regulator would be a given but when would a snotty baby venn a commercial workshop?-- wjt, Aug 18 2016 This is for me, not for the kid.-- RayfordSteele, Aug 18 2016 ...or you could use a nasal tampon, a nampon if you will.-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Aug 18 2016 Definitely det cord, then.-- 8th of 7, Aug 18 2016 The older Egyptians had tools to pull the brain out through the nose to make their mummies. This sounds like a vast improvement on that technology.
(Throw away that brain stuff. He'll have no need of it in the afterlife.)-- popbottle, Aug 19 2016 When would an intelligent person, with a contagion, venn a comercial workshop? you bigger ... .-- wjt, Aug 20 2016 // to make their mummies //
How did they make their daddies, then ?
// He'll have no need of it in the afterlife. //
It's pretty clear he's got no need of it now ...-- 8th of 7, Aug 20 2016 random, halfbakery