+Glaucoma: Screen is fuzzy

+Arthritis: Limited range of motions and random lockup

+Alzheimers: At random times, the score resets and your opponent's name disappears.

+Grumpy: Every time you lose a ball, or even win one, your character must utter longer & longer complaints, during which time you are immobile to attacks.

+Incontinence: At random, but long intervals, you have to forfeit (even mid-swing) (unless you buy with extra points the diapers)

Of course, there will be cheat codes to get a flamethrower.
-- sophocles, May 11 2007

\\+Alzheimers: At random times, the score resets and your opponent's name disappears.\\ OK that one had me laughing.
-- hidden truths, May 11 2007


I assume you'd get to choose which senior citizen you'd be, and they'd all be lovable in some way, even the grumpy ones.
-- phundug, May 11 2007


Yes, of course, you get to pick & customize your Senior Avatar, with accessories like oversized sunglasses, ascots, and shorts with belts 3,6,9" above the waistline.
-- sophocles, May 11 2007


//during which time you are immobile to attacks//

Unable to attack? Unable to defend? Unable to make it to the loo?

+Deafness: Get into long drawn out arguments with the officals over calls you agree with but couldn't properly hear. [+]
-- nuclear hobo, May 11 2007


Osteoporosis: Unable to spot objects above eye level, and you suffer a 1% chance of breaking your hip whenever the ball hits you.

Dementia: The screen morphs into some other competition, such as bowling, basketball, hockey, football, nude beach volleball, or cross-country skiing. You eventually loose the round, and find yourself being excorted about by large orderlies...

They should also occasionally loose their teeth...
-- ye_river_xiv, May 12 2007


This instantly reminded me of the butler from the training level of Tomb Raider. While Lara is legging it round over obstacles and whatnot, he will follow you at a slow shuffle mumbling and grunting to himself. If you jump out in front of him, he gets quite flustered and sometimes farts.

I think there should be celebrities such as the Bushes, Reagan, Mohammed Ali, Bill Cosby, Bob Hope.
-- marklar, May 13 2007



random, halfbakery