I’ve tired of filling up my lawn mower with petro, pulling the starter rope and then spend hours pushing the damn thing around my yard as the spinning blades cut the grass into clipping only to rake them up later and put them into the yard trash. It is a waste of my time and money and the only result of these efforts is to watch the grass grow to be mowed again in a few days or weeks depending upon the weather.
I decided to buy a goat and metal line. The goat is self- propelled. It does not need to be pushed around the yard. It walks all by itself on four very sturdy legs towards anything the goat thinks it could eat. The goat doesn’t like petro. In fact, petro would not be good for it and would probably sicken the goat. Water is a suitable liquid in the event that the goat becomes dry.
Now, what do I now do to mow my lawn? I tie the goat with the metal line to a metal stake near the center of the lawn to be mowed. It is important that the line and stake be metal since the goat is a fantastic eating machine. It could eat through fibrous or plastic line or stake quickly and digest it along with any grass to be mowed. When I return home after hours of play and relaxation with mates at the seashore or park or pub, I move the stake to another part of the lawn that needs mowing.
A goat is better for the environment than a mechanical petro-consuming lawn mower. The goat does not increase the carbon load in the atmosphere adding to the global warming and other fanciful-end-of-the-world-as-we- know-it problems that we all fear. Instead, a goat converts lawn clippings into environmentally beneficial soil accretions for a greener and more luscious lawn with no more carbon emissions than any other animal. The accretions already in the form of pellets fertilize my well manicured lawn making it the envy of the neighborhood.
I haven’t tried this yet, but I am told that once the goat gets big and fat, it could be BBQed into a tasty meal. But I won’t do this until the goat has kids for next year’s mowing season. Why didn’t our parents know about goats?
el dueno-- el dueno, Aug 25 2010 Goat http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goat [DIYMatt, Aug 25 2010] Idea using Rabbits instead of goats Eco-max_20mowing_20service [MisterQED, Aug 25 2010] Having had goats for a long time, I can tell you that pretty soon, all you will have is dirt.-- senatorjam, Aug 25 2010 Widely known to exist (link).-- DIYMatt, Aug 25 2010 I kept hoping for this to turn into something.-- bungston, Aug 25 2010 Goats are not allowed in many neighborhoods, what you need is rabbits (link).-- MisterQED, Aug 25 2010 Instead of tethering the eating machine, why not implement an invisible barrier around the edge of the lawn. The idea is already baked for pets and other animals; they wear a collar that imparts an unpleasant effect (electric shock?) if the wearer crosses some boundary denoted by a buried cable.
That way you could stay longer at the seashore, park or pub and wouldn't need to return home to relocate the eating machine.-- Tulaine, Aug 25 2010 Sheep or Alpaca make much more sense than goats, as goats rip up the roots. I particularly like Alpaca as they are simple to clean up after. The problem is they don't do well without multiples around.-- MechE, Aug 25 2010 I have had goats (Not the barbecued kind --- I'm referring to the leaping up on your cars, nasty smelling, tear up your yard kind). Trust me, this is an exceedingly bad idea. However, I am not without compassion for the smiling, humble, environmentally conscious, back-to-nature guy about to launch into the equivalent of bashing his head in with a hammer. Bun for the barbecue [+].-- Grogster, Aug 26 2010 I once borrowed three goats to clear up a yard. It worked a treat, with no problems (except that all three goats managed to get themselves and a veranda pole tangled together by single lead, even though two of them had no lead at all). I was able to return them as soon as they had had the desired effect, and thus avoid any disaster.-- spidermother, Aug 26 2010 Horseys are good for this, too. And they make good steak. The horse-refuse problem can be dealt with by putting it on the steps of the town hall, which seems to be the only place cleaned up on a regular basis.-- sstvp, Aug 26 2010 Goats also produce milk which can be turned into delicious cheeses.-- DrWorm, Aug 26 2010 my goats made a pact with the devil, escaped the harnesses and ate decorative plants (some of them quite poisonous to humans) causing great shame. After that they would never rest in their pursuit of destruction and they no longer craved the sustenance of sweet grass, satisfied only with destruction and defilement. They were sold to the local organic weed clearing herd. now I keep two tiny sheep who have never caused a mote of trouble other than growing thick luxurious hair that must be removed.-- WcW, Aug 27 2010 random, halfbakery