This garden rock/bauble/fake bush is hardwired to the fire detection system and its own power supply, or a manual switch that blows the airbag in a manner similar, but a bit more slowly and larger than a car airbag.-- RayfordSteele, Oct 11 2020 Fire escape shrub Fire_20escape_20shrubPrior Art [8th of 7, Oct 11 2020] Bonus bun if, after deployment, the homeowner can add standard moveable livestock fencing to the edges, to form an 'instant' bouncy house/trampoline-type unit for the yard apes*.
*Who need a relaxing screamy outlet after losing their home and, more importantly, their YuGiOh deck(s), to the conflagration.-- Sgt Teacup, Oct 11 2020 <link>
You could adapt one of those ghastley three metre tall inflatable illuminated Santas into a Fireman with outstretched arms ...
// losing their home and, more importantly, their YuGiOh deck(s), to the conflagration. //
Never mind that ... save the Betamax tapes with the original off-air recordings of Star Trek TOS ...-- 8th of 7, Oct 11 2020 ^ Clever, you should post that.
Additional option: inflatable Jesus lifejackets and survival rafts...
A Jesus-shaped steerable canopy parachute is unlikely to be practical.-- 8th of 7, Oct 11 2020 "Aim for the bushes" - The Other Guys-- xaviergisz, Oct 12 2020 // trying to be nice or just make me paranoid //
One of those options has very low probability, but then again paranoia is inappropriate; it's an unjustified perception of persecution, and everyone really does hate you.
There's a third possibility, of course. We're not going to tell you what it is, though.-- 8th of 7, Oct 12 2020 //Second-Story Emergency Inflatable Airbags// (sp. "Storey", unless for some reason that second bedtime story constitutes an emergency)-- hippo, Oct 12 2020 It must be bad if it has them jumping out of the window...-- 8th of 7, Oct 12 2020 My dad was a real second-storey guy. Nobody ever believed his first story.-- RayfordSteele, Oct 12 2020 The distinction, of course, being between correct and incorrect spelling ...-- 8th of 7, Oct 12 2020 <Anticipates fight over which floor should be called the "1st floor" in 3...2...>-- RayfordSteele, Oct 12 2020 Explosive re-inflate rates? Just time the jump.-- wjt, Oct 15 2020 random, halfbakery