I have no idea how this would be accomplished, but I think it would be cool. Especially for Halloween candy.
-- baf, Nov 04 2000

All about Breatharianism http://seasilver.th...torium/breathar.htm
Learn how to live on nothing but air (some have been doing for the last twenty years). [Monkeylawyer, Nov 04 2000, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Carrot Juice is Murder http://www.folkweb....orms/carrot-load.ra
Try this link to a real audio file for song by the Arrogant Worms. "I've heard the screaming of vegetables...served on my table each night..." [grackle, Nov 04 2000, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Tool-Disgustipated http://www.lyricsdi...l/disgustipated.php
Damn you, let the rabbits wear glasses! [5th Earth, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

"Would we be so cavalier about cutting down trees, if trees could scream?

Maybe we would...if they screamed all the time, for no apparent reason."

- Jack Handy
-- blahginger, Nov 04 2000


The oft quoted Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy featured a genetically engineered cow that gave out handy advice about which parts of it were best to eat. I suspect that this is easier to write about than actually achieve however.
-- DrBob, Nov 06 2000


"Alice, mutton; mutton, Alice."

As it stands, this idea is entirely baked, although raw - certainly crude - there are many small animals that will wail and squeak as you eat them. Maybe you want to be a little more specific?
-- hello_c, Nov 07 2000


I suppose the real problem is in finding something that screams but doesn't fight.
-- baf, Nov 07 2000


Cruelty isn't deprecated in the spec, either. I was hoping baf would deprecate it. ("Tut, tut", for instance.)

It might be especially popular - among people who would eat wailing food in the first place - to have food that did fight, but ineffectually.
-- hello_c, Nov 08 2000


All my food does that....it's not bad very entertaining....is that a bad thing?
-- beancrock, Nov 08 2000


Well, this would probably help those who need to lose weight if eating becomes such an embarassing experience.
-- arghblah, Nov 29 2000


Knockwurst cooking in a microwave emit some pretty awesome cries!
-- lee, Jan 18 2001


And warming chicken livers for one's cats allows you to discover that they pop like popcorn and jump around in the microwave, and make an enormous mess...
-- StarChaser, Jan 18 2001


StarChaser,

Why are you putting your cats in the microwave?
-- rachele, Jan 19 2001


To dry them off...
-- StarChaser, Jan 20 2001


Oh! Well, that makes sense.
-- rachele, Jan 21 2001


<grins> Ask a silly question. 'warming chicken livers FOR the cats' in the microwave...
-- StarChaser, Jan 21 2001


You could just bake a whoopie cushion into your pie; but the pie will also "bake" some whoopie into you.
-- Vance, Jan 30 2001


As a kid I saw an episode of The Dark Side (or that other show that was just like The Dark Side) where a woman got ahold of a certain pair of glasses and a hearing aid. The hearing aid not only made her hear the food scream, but she could hear the poor little veggies' pleas for mercy. The glasses made the food look like the Fruit of the Loom gang--30ish bad actors in fruit suits and so forth. At the end of the episode the landlord and a cop broke into the apartment to find the woman (with requisite flies buzzing around her) face down on the table with her lips sewn shut (apparently she did it herself so she would be sure not to eat her new little friends). Needless to say, I attempted to become a Breatharian after seeing that.
-- Monkeylawyer, Apr 18 2001


Susen, wasn't it in Glory Road: "It lay there on my plate, a little round creature--let's call it 'Elmer'--in some sort of sauce. Its eyes were still open. I picked it up on my fork and was ready to take a bite when... Elmer blinked. Suddenly I wasn't hungry anymore..."
-- Dog Ed, Apr 18 2001


Try the above link to a real audio file for: "Carrot Juice is Murder" by the Arrogant Worms. "I've heard the screaming of vegetables...served on my table each night..."

If you haven't heard of them they are a distinctly Canadian comedy folk music group...absolutely awesome in concert.
-- grackle, May 20 2001


This would be good for halloween. Some unsuspecting kid pops a treat in his mouth and hears screaming every time he chomps down. I can just see the confusion and calamity that ensues.
-- barnzenen, Oct 29 2001


screaming knives and forks would have an effect - not sure quite what though
-- po, Oct 29 2001


<screaminglaughter>HAHAHAHAHA!</screaminglaughter>
-- DesertFox, Jun 21 2004


How very macabre.
-- harderthanjesus, Jun 21 2004


Love Carrot Juice is Murder. Hilarious.

Can anyone e-mail me the entire song at desertfox161@yahoo.com? I would appreciate it.
-- DesertFox, Jun 21 2004


What if you could make it scream once it was inside of you?
-- hobart2, Jun 21 2004


I've heard the screams of the vegetables (scream, scream, scream)

Watching their skins being peeled (having their insides revealed)

Grated and steamed with no mercy (burning off calories)

How do you think that feels (bet it hurts really bad)

Carrot juice constitutes murder (and that's a real crime)

Greenhouses prisons for slaves (let my vegetables go)

It's time to stop all this gardening (it's dirty as hell)

Let's call a spade a spade (is a spade is a spade is a spade)
-- DesertFox, Jun 21 2004



random, halfbakery