For some reason as yet unknown to me, the testicles do not work well to produce sperm when exposed to normal body temperature. So they hang outside the body in a special "sac". If a man wears tight clothing such that this sac is held closely against the body, sperm production goes down, and infertility can result.

I don't know to what extent anyone has actually proposed going out of the way to ensure the testicles are kept warm, deliberately to reduce sperm production (outside of, say, deliberately wearing jockey shorts instead of boxer shorts). Perhaps the method is too unreliable to be practical. OR, perhaps, nobody has decided to stretch the notion to the limit.... The HalfBakery should welcome this, therefore!

See link. A Space Blanket is made of lightweight material and is specially designed to reduce the escaping of body heat. Suppose a small amount of this material was used to make a kind of "drawstring bag" (see link for example). We might want a couple of layers of Space Blanket material in this sack, to increase its effectiveness at retaining heat.

The testicular sac is placed in this container, and the drawstring is used to keep it from slipping off. There should be adequate looseness to ensure good blood flow. If lightweight enough, it should be possible to wear this Sac Sack for weeks at a time (when removed while bathing, be sure to bathe in hot water at that time!).

So, the testicles are thus not allowed to cool to properly produce sperm, and sperm count drops. After a couple of days some non-intercourse sexual activity can be used to "clear from the system" any sperm created before the sack began to be used. This is probably the biggest drawback, waiting for this time to pass before the sperm count becomes as low as it can go. The presence of the Sac Sack should not interfere much with sexual or any other activity, which is another thing that should make it possible to be worn for weeks or even months or years.

Will sperm production be reduced enough for this to be a good Birth Control method? I think it is worth finding out. Will any other functions of the testicles be inhibited (producing testosterone, for example)? Also worth finding out!

Obviously the Sac Sack can be removed when infertility is no longer desired. Just wait a few days for sperm production to return to normal, that's all.
-- Vernon, Feb 01 2010

Space Blanket http://www.cabelas....5a&_requestid=60065
As mentioned in the main text. Invented by NASA because everything shipped to space must be as lightweight as possible. They are basically a plastic sheet with a metallic coating, much like the material in those shiny birthday balloons. [Vernon, Feb 01 2010]

Drawstring bag http://zakkalife.bl...drawstring-bag.html
As mentioned in the main text; this was simply the first example I came across while looking for a picture. [Vernon, Feb 01 2010]

Improved spermatogenesis Improved_20spermatogenesis
Same principle, in reverse. [bungston, Feb 03 2010]

Who's gonna want to have sex with someone with sweaty, smelly balls?
-- leinypoo13, Feb 01 2010


Im not sure I want to resemble some sort of tinfoil torpedo whilst in the act, however i think its worth a go just for the look on her face when she sees the twin deathstars in all their glory. "I'm going in Red Leader!"
-- S-note, Feb 01 2010


[leinypoo13], body odor is related to the presence of certain bacteria, which of course can be cleaned off. Also, certain sweat glands are more actively involved than others. You seldom notice body odor on a sweaty arm, for example. Limb-crotch sweat glands are the culprits here, because they produce quantities of the chemicals (pheromones, likely) that the bacteria convert to other odors. I'm not aware that the sweat glands in the skin of the testicular sac are that type of sweat gland. And as for plain sweat, if it is trapped inside the Sac Sack during sex, what does it matter?

[S-note], only the testicles are to be wrapped up in this Idea, so no "tinfoil torpedo" look.
-- Vernon, Feb 01 2010


I see, I retract my comment. Your right, it wont look silly if only the undercarriage is covered in silver foil. What about the um, ride comfort of the partner involved?
-- S-note, Feb 01 2010


Space Blanket material is mostly just plastic. How much discomfort is a layer of plastic wrap? For a partner, none; for you, depends on how tightly it is wrapped! Which is not the case here.
-- Vernon, Feb 01 2010


Can the outside not be disguised with a flesh-toned silicone rubber layer?
-- pocmloc, Feb 01 2010


"Good afternoon Mr. Jones, I was wondering if I could get some feedback from you concerning your experiences with the VernCo Sac Sack......is it OK to talk in front of the children?"
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 01 2010


You could just tuck them puppies back from whence they distended...like the Shaolin monks.

It's cheap, effective, and the packaging is reusable.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Feb 01 2010


I am pretty sure that the Shaolin monks have a good PR man and irreversably descended testicles like the rest of us.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 01 2010


Descended eh? I’ve been saying that wrong for a while now.
The testes are not irreversibly descended though, they can be reinserted into their respective inguinal canals on purpose or by accident. I’ve had it happen in accidents at least twice. Once, after jumping a bike, (badly), and once trying to keep from falling out of a tree. It’s quite uncomfortable but not unbearably painful and they pop right back out with a bit of pressure on the pelvis.

That’s right.
I said it.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Feb 02 2010


Oh c'mon! I can't be the only guy this has happened to.

<after a quick Google>

Sweet mother of God, can there be just one bloody rule I'm not an exception to?
I mean really now.
Just one.
Is it so much to ask?
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Feb 03 2010


having survived the bluejeans of the '70s, I *sortof* know what you mean [2f], but I really do *not* remember streamlining on *purpose*, and accidental 'ascendances" were accompanied by a sudden stop of all motion, a widening of the eyes and a slow, very careful rearrangement of the area in question.

Levi Strauss still owes me two kids.
-- FlyingToaster, Feb 03 2010


Using wool could lead to embarassment when people ask you what you're knitting.
-- hippo, Feb 03 2010


The outer layer of the sac should be covered in rigid mirrored squares, such that the bawbag becomes a discobag and those engaging in two-willy sexual activity can use the Todger Torch (qv.) to spackle dancing patterns on the walls.
-- calum, Feb 03 2010


//It's cheap, effective, and the packaging is reusable//

And how is this any different than a condom?
-- MikeD, Feb 03 2010


[21 Quest], when one posts an Idea here, it is not always necessary to delve into ALL the details. People complain when you do; I've noticed.... I suspect the simplest answer, that doesn't add a lot of weight, is a kind of drain hole at the bottom of the Sack. Perhaps with a short wick, to absorb droplets inside the Sack, and let them evaporate outside.

[MikeD], a condom is a physical barrier for sperm; a Sac Sack, if proves effective, prevents sperm from existing in the first place.
-- Vernon, Feb 03 2010


Vernon, I suspect you will never truly know how much your last anno has made my day.
-- calum, Feb 03 2010


//'ascendances" were accompanied by a sudden stop of all motion, a widening of the eyes and a slow, very careful rearrangement of the area in question//
Yep, quite uncomfortable. I just assumed it could be done on 'purpose' because of how easily it could by accident. Then when I read about the Shaolin crotch kicks I assumed that it was a thing possible for any man, just not easily.

[MikeD] The only difference I can think of is that there is no condom with a fifty plus year warrantee.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Feb 03 2010


//fifty plus year warrantee//

Alright, I'm sold. Do they come in a Crown-Royal bag theme?
-- MikeD, Feb 03 2010


Nope. That's extra.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Feb 03 2010


//I just assumed it could be done on 'purpose' because of how easily it could by accident.//

I can easily knock out my front teeth by accident but, as far as I know, I lack the ability to voluntarily moult teeth.

In much the same way, a surgeon can wiggle your kidneys around all over the place; do you know anyone who can wiggle their own kidneys (in situ)?

I would bet twenty of Beanangel's dollars that nobody has the ability to retract their own testicles, except by manipulation. And even then, I doubt very much that the testicles wind up where they came from.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 03 2010


I'll take that bet.

Apparently it's called retractile testicles and while not common it is possible for some men to retract them the same way some people can wiggle their ears while most other folks can't.

...and If they don't go back where they came from, then where?
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Feb 03 2010


//Who's gonna want to have sex with someone with sweaty, smelly balls?//

Maybe that's how the birth control method is ensured to work! hahaha

Didn't know why testicles were hanging outside the body and looking so awful and unappealing (just asked myself that during class, yesterday) and your post answered that question for me. Bun for accidental englightenment. :)
-- Pericles, Feb 04 2010


//I'll take that bet//
oh, great; something else to look forward to on YouTube.... no, wait, don't.
-- FlyingToaster, Feb 04 2010


"awful and unappealing"... just want you fellers to know that is not a universal opinion.

as to the idea, I doubt it will have the desired effect except for those whose sperm count is already below normal.
-- dentworth, Feb 04 2010


>reinserted into their respective inguinal canals on

looking back on that, "inguinal" "linguini"..so that's how they make it! I may never eat pasta again...
-- not_morrison_rm, May 07 2012



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