Everyone in America, just for the asking, can chose to adopt a clone of that little Oriental kid from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. His sole purpose on this planet would be to follow you around all day and call you “Doctor Jones.”

This “Short Round Clone” could also do whatever you tell him to do and make hilarious one-liners about some alleged Aunt Mimi he once had back in Singapore.

Sure, all this and more is already readily available for just 29 cents a day via Sally Struthers’ Kid-O-Rama, but since we just cracked that pesky little genome code what the hell else can we do with it????
-- warped1974, Jun 30 2000

Can I get mine in the Denise Richards variety and have her call me "Daddy" instead?
-- ChachieWawa, Jun 30 2000


Sure, why not? As long as he never grows up and sues your ass for treating him like a dog for all those years.
-- wordmama, Jul 03 2000


The beauty is that they'll never grow up. They're clones, they have no certain inalienable rights...At the ripe old age of 18, they'll be harvested for parts to help cure the sick and diseased.
-- warped1974, Jul 03 2000


What's more, your Denise Richards clone could be grown with real breasts.
-- Ander, Jul 26 2000


As long as we're at it, a Gretchen Mol or Liv Tyler clone would be great as well- as long as the clones are actual size and *not* Short Round size.

Collect the entire set! <g>
-- BigThor, Sep 05 2000


I'd like a gary coleman version so that every time i have another half-baked idea he can say, "Whatchoo talk'n bout raisin?"
-- raisin, Sep 26 2000


Clonploitation. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. I'd like to be called "Dr. Thumbwax" myself. Hmmmm...
-- thumbwax, Sep 26 2000


i would clone webster and have him pick fights with your gary coleman clone, you know...just to see
-- unngabunga, Nov 30 2000


I love this idea. I'm an Oriental kid, or rather, an Asian kid, and I follow people around all day right now, calling them 'Doctor Jones.' I'm wondering though how many of the people who would buy into the SRC2000 are pedophiles looking for the right Asian boy to screw. But that's a whole nother market, isn't it. It'd also be great to clone that weird Oriental kid in Boogie Nights who was running around the house in his tighty whiteys, lighting all those firecrackers in that drug dealer's house.
-- d-eschew, Feb 08 2001


We could have look-alike compertitions - :will the real Gary Coleman please stand up.... Oh, you are standing up....."
-- paddler, Apr 04 2002


After 34 years, Gary Coleman is still a virgin. Said so himself on "Weakest Link"
-- thumbwax, Apr 05 2002



random, halfbakery