The circumstances that preceded getting stuck in the tree were not so complex as the construction of the suit that I had been wearing before it got caught up in the branches, and I fell to the ground outside the sorority house nude, where I now find myself, officer.
It all started the other day at the amphitheatre when a couple standing behind me observed, in their own words, that I "make for a better door than window". Since I was not immediately familiar with this idiom, I took offence and stormed away after calling out a curse on both of their houses, if in fact they had separate domiciles. I can't be sure, but I'd certainly make them eat their words!
I arrived at the blinds store, still irate, and requested blinds best designed in accordance with Bernoulli's principle. These were provisioned immediately and without question by the knowledgeable blinds specialist. I then fashioned these appropriately aerodynamic blinds into a a fine streamlined suit. By using the same mechanism provided for drawing the blinds I could easily control the pitch of what in effect became many wings.
To make a long story short, doctor, as I was telling the officer outside the sorority house, I decided to show off my new suit in front of the ladies, but it generated such substantial lift that I ended up in a tree. It was only then as I was gazing into the house before me, that I came to appreciate the transparent properties of windows relative to doors, and thus the meaning of the remark that precipitated this ordeal.
As you can see, it's all been a great misunderstanding, magistrate.-- rcarty, Mar 14 2011 Winged Suit http://www.suckered...-squirrel-suits.jpg [rcarty, Mar 14 2011] Blinds http://www.windowbl...dow-blind-pulls.jpg [rcarty, Mar 14 2011] Phillips Multiplane http://www.fiddlers...ps_multiplane-2.jpg [mitxela, Mar 14 2011] good flight technology history resource http://firstflight....ips_aircraft01.html [rcarty, Mar 14 2011] Close http://www.writeups..._flight_suit_h1.jpg [rcarty, Mar 14 2011] Jade Monkey http://www.jeweloft...ade_monkey_1055.jpg [ytk, Mar 20 2011] non idea (-) entertaining (+)-- Voice, Mar 14 2011 The idea is a winged suit designed like window blinds.
You must find the jade monkey before the next full moon.
Where jade monkey is a link to the idea described.-- rcarty, Mar 14 2011 Before this court can venturi an opinion on your magnus opus we need an order of facts: You stated that aileron you got into a bit of a flap, coanda nother thing, you took off for the nearest purveyor of blinds, all the rage as I understand. After requisitioning said items you then rolled on down to a sorority house to show the ladies, whom, it must be said, were over-yawed at your attempts of haute couture.
Innocent, I proclaim. I will not spill the blood of a laminar.-- 4whom, Mar 14 2011 The moon is full and still no jade monkey. I was hoping the closer moon produced some anti-Earth gravity.-- rcarty, Mar 20 2011 /The moon is full and still no jade monkey./
(Link) Sorry! It was on my desk under some papers and I totally forgot about it. My bad.
/I was hoping the closer moon produced some anti-Earth gravity./
If it helps any, I jumped yesterday and it felt like I was a little higher than usual.
I also managed to jump a bit further off the ground.-- ytk, Mar 20 2011 Knock knock. "I can't come to the door, I'm naked. Who is it?" "Blind man." "Oh, in that case, come in." "Thanks. Where d'you want the blinds?"-- MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 20 2011 "I told you I keep them in that case, are you deaf too?"-- rcarty, Mar 22 2011 random, halfbakery