A lot of girls have been staring at me on the train commute to work. Come to think of it, a lot of guys have too. I guess I could have unisex appeal...

... Oh, actually my fly is down and my tucked shirt is peeking through the gap. I also have a big cowlick in the crown of my hair and a dried booger clinging to the edge of my nostril. Goodbye forever train hotties of car #2520 on the 7:08a to Toronto, in my embarrassment I decide never to return.

This disaster could have been averted. Girls, never leave home with a roller still in your hair. Guys make sure the zipper train has glided up its tracks every time... retake the scenario with RoboPrimper.

RoboPrimper is a tiny device that hovers and follows nearby. It has an on-board camera and a single retractable arm (when a task requires a second 'hand' it will grasp things between its body and the arm). It contains a store of breath freshener, anti-bacterial disinfectant cleaner, and hair gel.

As I exit the door to my house, RoboPrimper is activated (it deactivates when you are at home, because who cares what you look like inside of your own home?). As I make my way to the car, RoboPrimper makes various compliments and greetings that are addressed to me while it runs zipper position, hair cowlick, food stuck in teeth, and bad breath recognition routines.

It determines that my fly is down and rectifies the situation with the robotic arm before I get into the car. RoboPrimper asks me to open my mouth and inspects for breakfast foods stuck in my teeth and bad breath. Various food bits are picked out, and breath freshener sprayed. I pull out of my driveway and head to the train station.

The oral cleaning session has left something on my cheek, so RoboPrimper spits cleaner onto a napkin or cotton pad and rubs my face. Anthropomorphizing via actual spitting sounds whenever liquids are applied would be great!

It recognizes a cowlick, so it spits gel on its robotic arm and flattens my bed-head. Boogers are removed and nose hair possibly trimmed (pincer/tweezers on the robot arm).

By the time I get to the train station, I flick RoboPrimper off and it fits neatly into my laptop bag. I'm five minutes early because of RoboPrimper, so I go get a coffee. While attempting to put the lid on the coffee, I slip and spill it all over myself. No worries! RoboPrimper has a air-dryer capabilities and the arm can work a stain removing pen (optional upgrade in higher models - along with a razor, lip balm and moisturizer). Flick it back on and it grabs the additional premium attachments from inside of itself with the robotic arm. It looks like Inspector Gadget's hat when it does this.
-- Mister P, Feb 27 2008

Or just install a mirror by your door, and check it on the way out.
-- DrCurry, Feb 27 2008


isn't it called a *mother*?

<spits on hanky>
-- po, Feb 27 2008



random, halfbakery