This is a bumper for your car which has specially designed, high-power air nozzles which are used to blow small animals (or debris) out of the way of your tires before you hit them. A canister of compressed air powers the blowers. A series of sonar detectors along the bumper constantly monitor the leading 180 degrees of road for possible threats. If it determines that something is going to intersect with the tires it blows it either left, right, or toward the center depening on whichever gets the object out of the way fastest. This does not necessarily prevent the animal from become roadkill via someone else's car, but at least you can sleep sound knowing it wasn't yours. NOTE: This will not work for larger animals such as coyotes, elk, or republicans.
-- DeathNinja, Jul 21 2003

confused - but you are death! {{{{shudder}}}}
-- po, Jul 21 2003


//high-power air nozzles which are used to blow small animals (or debris) out of the way // Fantastic!

May I suggest Pedestrian Body armour, in case of flying hedgehogs...
-- silverstormer, Jul 21 2003


Hmmm. I surmise you've never worked with compressed air at vehicle system pressures. It's not that safe, really.

In my first job, it was a sackable offence to blow air on yourself or any other person. This was implemented after someone was killed when a prankster put the airline to his back and "pulled the trigger", punching a hole clear through his body. In a separate incident, a man had tried to use the airline to blowdry his hands. The air got into a small cut and lifted the entire skin off his arm.
-- egbert, Jul 21 2003


That's some kind of compression you've got going on, egbert. What did you manufacture, Rush Limbaugh blowup dolls?
-- RayfordSteele, Jul 21 2003


Daaaaammmnn. I want to work as far away from [egbert]'s first job as possible.
-- phoenix, Jul 21 2003


<Note to self>
Don't start compressed air/hoover nozzle fight with [egbert].
</Note to self>
-- silverstormer, Jul 21 2003


That gives me an idea...
-- DeathNinja, Jul 22 2003


Wouldn't a high powered air blast coming out of a fast moving vehicle yield a GREATER impact to the poor creature than the vehicle alone?
-- gardnertoo, Aug 23 2003


Wouldn't the compressed air blow the animal in front of a non-compressed air car comming the other way?

How much compressed air would it take to remove a moose from the road?
-- fugazi, Aug 24 2003


cool./ aero-exploded moose, anybody? at least your tyres/tires won't have to touch the stuff. reminds me of an incident where MadCow diseased sheeps were gathered in a valley and sacraficed using dynamite. also reminds me of a video footage where people tried to get rid of a whale corps by fragmenting it with a dynamite; raining burning-blubber was reported that day.
-- synergy~, Oct 21 2003



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